It's a trip!

Impressive video

2007-07-17T21:14:00.000+01:00

I just received this in my email. This had me close to tears at the end. Amazingly, it was supposedly created by a 15 year old girl. I wonder if she's a military brat? If you haven't seen this, you need to check it out... Maybe I'm just sentimental after all the time I spent in the military? Let me know what you think...

2007-07-15T18:32:00.000+01:00

Hi! I'm back! I hope to be posting regularly now, things have started to settle down again. It's been such a long time I have to admit I'm surprised to see my blog is still showing correctly. Hooray!! I figured I'd have to start all over with a new template and the whole nine yards! Instead, all I have to do is remember all these silly html tags.

So bear with me for a few days while I get the kinks sorted out, and then I'll be off and running. Talk to you soon!

My newest hero

2005-11-20T15:53:00.000Z

I read this today in the Sunday Times (London). Any parent out there should be able to relate to this annoyed, but ingenious, woman.

Strict Mother of the Week

Frustrated mother Tasha Henderson, tired of her daughter's bad exam results, lateness and backchat to teachers, decided on drastic action. She made her 14-year-old stand at a busy junction in Oklahoma City with a cardboard sign that read:
"I don't do my homework and I act up in school, so my parents are
perparing me for my future. Will work for food."

Bravo! I'm saving that one for my arsenal.

About damn time!

2005-11-09T16:42:00.001Z

I'm feeling pretty bitchy right now. I had appointments yesterday and today--nothing like getting poked, prodded and tortured two days running! Yesterday was a consultant anesthesiologist, he's supposed to come up with a non-pharmaceutical method of pain control for me. After his exam he told me that he thinks my nerve endings have become tangled up in the mesh they used for the first surgery--and that's what's causing all the pain.

But he won't touch me until I see a colleague of his, a uro-gyn, to see if there are any other surgical steps they can take to fix the problem. That will probably mean a laparoscopy, and more time off work--and then potentially another surgery, bringing me to a total of 8 in 10 months. Yea.

The anesthesiologist said he can do temporary or permanent nerve blocks to relieve the pain, but they might make me pee my pants all the time and not even know about it. I'm still debating--do I want to pee my pants sometimes and be stoned from narcotic pain meds, or do I want to feel fine and pee my pants all the time? What would you choose? Hmm.....decisions, decisions.

Today was the urologist. Another set of cystoscopy, urodynamics, and some other fun and painful torture. So I'm not feeling very good and I'm whiny. At least I'll get some new drugs next week that will hopefully work better.

The bottom line? I'm finally going back to work next week. I mean, it's only been 5 months this time around, that's not too bad, right?! Seriously though, I'm going back for half-days for the first month and we'll play it by ear after that.

I'm not actually doing any better, but I haven't gotten much worse either. It doesn't seem like staying home and taking it easy is helping anything, besides keeping me more comfortable, so it's time to give it a try.

I really had to work to convince my doctor to let me go back--he didn't want me to because I'm having problems with my pain meds again---ie they're not working--and I'm still peeing all the time when I don't mean to. I've developed a tolerance to the meds again, and it's time to move on to something stronger.

The dr. didn't think it was a good idea to give me stronger meds then send me back, and it may not be, but I'm doing it anyway. I think my exact words were, "At this point I don't care if I pee on the general's feet, I have to go back!

My reasoning is that it's just been too damn long. I need to get back before they decide they don't need me anymore. But my feeling was justified when I found out that they're "right-sizing" my paygrade--that's a euphemism for "Oops, we fucked up and got too many new people a couple years ago, so now we're going to kick a bunch of them out". Nice, eh?

I probably don't have to worry about anything--I'm ranked 2 of 13 in my peer group even though I haven't been there (I was pretty impressed!), and also because they can't kick me out until they fix me or have exhausted all options and all hope of fixing me. Either way, I really don't want to lose my job, not after 15 years and a whole lot of really hard work. Another 5 years and I'm set for life once I can retire. I'm NOT going now.

Sorry for the bitchiness--if it's any consolation, I feel a lot better now! Thanks for the venting opportunity, and I hope ya'll are feeling better than I am! :)

Julie out.

Bad mommy

2005-11-06T16:56:00.000Z

My 4 yr old, Liam, can be quite a handful. His angelic smile and cuteness disguise a devious little soul. He insists on doing everything by himself, and hates needing help for anything. He also, like any other little boy, likes getting into things he's not supposed to.

My 11 yr old helps us out a lot with him--I didn't realize quite how much until she slept over at a friend's house Friday night. On weekend mornings, Amelia gets up with Liam, gets him breakfast and plays with him for a couple of hours until it's a decent time for us old folk to get up. He'd been having lots of nightmares lately, so we put him in bed with us to cut out the bed transfer at 2 am.

In the morning my little angel managed to sneak out of bed (he was in between us) without waking either of us up. He went downstairs and apparently decided he was all grown up and didn't need us for anything.

I guess Liam still felt a bit sleepy and so wanted a cup of coffee--just like Daddy. He poured a cup (!), added cream and sugar, then figured it would be fun to mix the two together. So he poured the sugar into the creamer, and then poured that back into the sugar bowl.

After that job, he was hungry. He made microwave popcorn for breakfast--and burned the crap out of it. I have no idea how long he put it in for, but I'm really really glad he didn't burn the house down.

He got into just about everything he could--and did it all very quietly so he wouldn't wake us up. I have no idea why he eventually decided to come and get us up--maybe he was lonely?--but thankfully he did before anything really disastrous happened. It did make me feel like the bad mom of the year, though.

So we've now made taking care of Liam on weekend morning an official chore for Amelia. Not sure if that adds to the bad mom designation or not, but I don't care. He's being looked after, Amelia gets money, and mom and dad get to sleep in. Win win. Works for me!

I'm back again...

2005-11-01T13:07:00.000Z

I'm back! It's been an awful week. I've had an infection, plus loads of other stuff going on. I haven't even turned my computer on for the last four days--let alone get on it for anything.

It started off with my stepson coming for a visit. He used to live with us and caused lots and lots of problems (story for another time), and so I wasn't exactly looking forward to the visit. It turned out ok in the end, and the worst part was the time DH had to spend driving back and forth cross-country to pick him up and drop him off.

Friday was my daughter's Halloween party. It turned out really well and all the kids had a great time. I made toooo much food, though, and overdid it so much on Friday that it took several days before I could walk "normally" again. Then while I was still recuperating from that, DH had to take stepson back across the country.

Anyway, so I'm over the infection now and getting back to normal. I'm still sleeping like 14 hours a day, but I should be back online regularly now. Is anyone still reading?? :)

Santa Claus has come to town

2005-10-23T14:31:00.000+01:00

Yesterday my son decided to be Santa Claus. Or, more specifically, Daddy Ho Ho Ho as he so quaintly calls Santa. It's a bastardization of Father Christmas, which is what my English husband has taught him to call Santa. Anyway, he sat on a kiddie rocking chair in our living room, put on his most solemn face, and had everyone in the house "sit" on his lap and tell him what they wanted Daddy Ho Ho Ho to bring them for Christmas. It was positively adorable.

But it got better when my DH said he wanted "Mommy to get better" for Christmas. (I've had lots of medical problems this year--if you're interested, click here) Liam furrowed his brows, thinking hard for a minute, then disappeared into the games room. He came back several minutes later with all the plastic tools from his Craftsman kid's work bench.

Liam came over to me on the couch and told me I had to go to sleep. He then proceeded to "operate" on me---with a hacksaw, a hammer, a screwdriver, some pliers and a wrench. He "opened me", did some work, then "put me back together" and woke me up. When I opened my eyes he gave me the biggest smile, full of pride, and told me I was all better!

I learned a couple important lessons from this little "operation". First of all, my medical problems have affected my kids more than I thought. It's obviously limited what I can do with them, but I didn't realize how much even my 4 yr old had been troubled by it. Secondly, I learned that my littlest one has a heart of gold.

That's all I want for Christmas.

Nasty, just nasty

2005-10-18T13:47:00.000+01:00

I've had a really bad few days, but I'm feeling a bit better today and I'm back!

I'm still searching for the final menu for my daughter's Halloween party next week. I've got all the dessert-type stuff I need, now I'm just looking for main courses. Even so, I couldn't help but click on this cake recipe when I saw it.

Introducing....the Kitty Litter Cake!

Yes, it really IS a cake! Nasty!! No, I'm not making it for the party, either. Even I couldn't stomach this. But you can get the recipe here if you know someone who's willing to eat replica cat shit. Eeuuuccchhhhhhh!

Obsession

2005-10-13T08:59:00.000+01:00

Other than bringing to mind crappy 80s music, this title completely describes me on my pain meds. For some reason the meds cause me to obsess over one thing after another--I really don't know why. It just erases any common sense or impulse inhibition I have, so I find myself really wanting something and not able to think of a good reason NOT to do it. I wish it would stop, it's getting expensive!

My latest obsession is making a quilt. Yup, a quilt. Not so bad, you think? Lots of people make quilts, right? Sure---but THOSE people know how to sew! Now ask me, "Julie, do you know how to sew?" Nope. "Do you own a sewing machine?" Again, nope. "Do you have any idea how to quilt?" Nope. But, I have this compulsion to quilt, NOW!!!

So, I've gone and bought all the material (I'm too embarrassed to say how much it cost!), the tools, and (da da da DA) a sewing machine! How's that for crazy??

I even had to call my mom from the craft store to find out about the tools I need, and then again about the materials. On my cell phone. International. Bright, eh?

I figure for the price of this quilt (and I don't even have everything I need yet!) I could have bought a new bed, forget about just a stinking blanket! Oh well, at least I didn't spend the money on cockroaches! (Sorry, Jen!)

So wish me luck, and if anyone wants to come visit and teach me how to sew, or quilt even, I'm happy to have you!

Holy metal dectector, Batman!

2005-10-09T13:52:00.000+01:00

I love living here! We have friends up from Cornwall for the weekend, and they brought a metal detector with them. This is the Mac Daddy of metal detectors--it tells you what type of metal it's found, how deep it's buried and loads of other stuff. It rocks!

This morning, being the amateur archaeologists that we are, we were searching out in our garden with the pimped out detector. Our house is very old, so we always have hopes of finding something cool out there. And today we did.

Shannon found a coin. It was really dirty, and had stuff corroded (for lack of a better word) onto the surface, both front and back. After quite a lot of cleaning we were able to read the words and had cleared off most of the images on both sides. Then, of course, we googled it.

It's a 1794 half-penny token from Lackington, Allen & Co booksellers. (That sort of token was the period equivalent of a gift certificate; it was good for the amount shown, but only at the specified location.) James Lackington had a HUGE bookstore (scroll about halfway) in Finsbury Sq in London in the late 1700s and sold over 100,000 books a year--no mean feat back then.

I'm so excited! We'll be going out again this afternoon looking for more buried treasure---WISH US LUCK!

Update on the dog situation

2005-10-09T13:00:00.000+01:00

Just in case you were wondering, I don't feel so much like an idiot now.

The new dog is settling in well. His name is Rin (I plan on changing that eventually!), and he is the sweetest dog ever! I really really really like him. He's very affectionate, sweet-tempered, and wants nothing more in life than to please us. Plus he's cute. :)

I've taken him as my own now, and Wolfie is now my husband's dog. Works well for both of us--I like the cute, sweet dog, and he likes the "manly man" dog. His presence has actually made Wolfie calm down a bit, which is AWESOME!

I've included some pics so you can check out the cutie. :)

Me and Rin (btw--I'm ready for bed in this pic, I usually look a little bit better!)

Amelia hugging both "puppies", so sweet! :)

I am an idiot

2005-10-06T15:15:00.000+01:00

I was casually scrolling through the for sale posts on my work's website, when I made a horrible HORRIBLE mistake. I read an ad out loud to my husband:

Free 3-yr old yellow lab...

Shit. He's now on the way to pick up our new dog, since he thinks Wolfie needs a friend. Shit shit shit. What was I thinking???

I'll post pictures later. Wish us luck.

About damn time...

2005-10-06T13:31:00.000+01:00

While surfing, I occasionally come across a military member's blog. Let me rephrase that--I'm sure I read blogs written by military all the time--but sometimes I find a MILITARY blog. The difference? The former is a blog just like any other personal diary-type blog; you'd never guess what the author did for a living. I have no problem with these.

The latter is all about the author's military job; often showing pics of their units, weapons, naming other members, etc. Many are based in Iraq or other combat zones, and these idiots show PICTURES of their bases, security measures, and often write of upcoming exercises or missions. These "combat-bloggers" piss me off. I would normally insert a link to an example here--but I won't in this case. No need to give them more publicity.

Seriously, how bloody stupid can you get?? It's one thing to not care about security if you're in the US and writing about people in Iraq (which is also very wrong, but more understandable); but to BE THERE and be handing your enemy all your information?? You might as well send an engraved invitation to the Iraqi insurgents.
"I will be at the XX crossroads in a hummer on the 17th at 1600; you're cordially invited to please come kill me and the rest of my unit. RSVP as soon as possible".

Finally, at least one branch has done something about it. The Army has issued a warning to so-called "combat bloggers"

"...But Boyce [Army spokesman] said soldiers need to know that simply
taking photos could threaten operational security. "We're just
re-emphasizing the danger here," he said. "We have warned soldiers to please be extremely careful of any photography, especially street scenes, because they could be useful to the enemy." Boyce said shots of the aftermath of insurgent attacks or roadside bombs are especially dangerous, because
insurgents could use them to gauge the effectiveness of their attacks."

No kidding! I can't tell you how many of these blogs I've come across; and on every single one I leave an unsolicited comment asking them to re-evaluate their need to post secure or sensitive information. I'm sure they don't care, but it makes me feel better. The thing that bothers me even more than their stupidity is that they aren't just screwing themselves over; I suppose I could deal with that--clean out the gene pool. But their stupidity endangers everyone else with them.

The typical combat blogger's response? Outrage, mixed with indignation.

"But if I can't post about what I'm doing, how will I keep my friends and family back home up to date?"

Maybe they just don't need to know, Sgt Jackass. They might be happier having you safe than knowing what your mess tent looks like. Besides, you can't write all about your work, even in the civilian world. Think about Dooce; you know, of the dooced variety? But the military is different anyway--there is NO separation of personal and professional life. You belong to the military, and so does your family to a certain extent. That's why (men) you're not allowed to wear earrings even out of uniform. That's why you're not allowed to speak to the media without command approval. Freedom of speech? Doesn't exist in the military. Ironic, yes; but true even so.

Bottom line, if you wanted a personal life separate from your job, you picked the WRONG career! You may want to re-evaluate your life choices (ie get out of the military at the earliest opportunity)!

Rant over.

G.I. Joe is MIA

2005-10-02T20:31:00.000+01:00

My youngest has decided that he now likes G.I. Joe. Who knew? On Saturday nothing appealed to him. He didn't want to play with anything he had, and nothing would make him happy. So out of desperation, we got out some of his brother's old, beat-up G.I. Joes and vehicles, and he spent the weekend happily playing "good guy bad guy" with them.

I decided G.I. Joes would be a great thing for Santa to bring him. New G.I. Joe toys, that haven't been handed down through the evil toy-abuser that is his brother. Vehicles that still have steering wheels, and men that have a full set of clothing, not to mention all their limbs--you know what I mean. So, I got online and started searching.

I tried Amazon, etoys, wal-mart.com--and every other online toy store I could think of--I found...NOTHING. No one has the 12" action figures, not to mention jeeps. No one. There appears to be a WORLD-WIDE SHORTAGE of G.I. Joes. Wal-Mart actually had some items listed, but every single one of them was out of stock.

Even ebay was short. People are selling old, used jeeps, missing most of the pieces:

"In Played With Condition, Has Some Missing Parts; A Steering Wheel, And Tail
Gate That I Know Of. Other Items May Be Missing. One Of The Connecting Arms On The Windshield Is Broken Off. May Or May Not Be Fully Operational. "

--and other people are buying them! This one has 6 bids, and is over $20 already! There's obviously a problem here.

Do they make the action figures out of some endangered tree, and if they cut any more the rainforest will disintegrate? Has every scrap of camoflauge material been diverted to supplement the war on terror? What is going on here?

If you know where to find the 12" G.I. Joe men or large vehicles to go with them, please let me know. Santa needs your help!

Why would you want that!??

2005-10-01T19:43:00.000+01:00

Surfing ebay today, I came across this...
ANTIQUE YELLOWWARE NAPPY SERVING DISH, current bid, $68.

WTF?? In Britain, a nappy is a diaper. Why does a diaper need a plate? Do some people serve them to guests? Clean or used? Cloth or disposable? And the biggest question of all--WHY? Eeww!

I searched ebay for "nappy", thinking maybe the seller made a typo. Nope--pages of nappy dishes came up. I figured it must mean something else, so I googled it, looking for a definition.

Sure enough, it's a "small, rimless earthenware or glass dish with a flat bottom and sloping sides. They are used for serving sauces".

Is this common knowledge? Was I supposed to know this (instead of giggling like an 8 year-old)? I'm going to buy one (a cheaper one, though!), just so I can offer guests mustard or Branston pickle* from my very own nappy dish.

* a condiment usually put on sandwiches--chunky brown in appearance

A really bad business idea...

2005-09-30T16:10:00.000+01:00

A new restaurant has opened in Cambodia, across the street from a notorious interrogation and torture center/now genocide museum. The idea is that museum visitors can stop by the restaurant afterwards, and get an authentic "taste" of what life was like under the Khmer Rouge. Almost 2 million people died under the regime in the late 70s.

"Faithful to the Khmer Rouge era, when many victims starved to death after a disastrous attempt to transform the country into a peasant utopia, the waitresses are barefoot and clad in the black pajamas and red-white scarves of the guerrillas." One of the owners said, "This is more than just a restaurant. It is to remind us of those who died."

Well I hope it's more than a restaurant--cause there doesn't seem to be much food being served. Basing a restaurant on a starvation diet seems pretty counter intuitive to me.

On the menu at the Khmer Rouge Experience Cafe for $6 a head, is:
Salted rice water
Corn, mixed with water and leaves

Hmm...now, I don't know about the Cambodian economy, but I have to assume that 6 US dollars is a substantial amount--as it is in other countries in the region. Probably enough to get a good 3 course meal in a different restaurant. Or maybe a car.

Maybe they'd be better off as an exhibit in the museum. After being open only 2 weeks, they're already not sure how they can keep operating with their nonexistent profits. I wonder why? You know what they say about good intentions...

I love my sister!

2005-09-26T15:04:00.000+01:00

My sister is by far the most unique person I've ever met. That's saying a lot cause I've known some strange ones over the years. She's not weird though, she's just different; she just doesn't care what anybody thinks. Being free from these constraints, she can do whatever silly thing strikes her fancy; and usually does. She's got to be the coolest mom I know--my daughter keeps telling me that too!! She can make anyone laugh...she always could.

I had just come back from a particularly painful exam at the doctor, feeling all sad and sorry for myself, when I saw this post from her. I laughed so hard I thought I was going to have an aneurysm. I have no words! Imagine what growing up with her as my big sister was like?!?

Pics of my house

2005-09-23T19:42:00.000+01:00

Several people had asked for pics of my house, so here you go....

The oldest part of the house is the timber-framed part, dating from the 1500s. The far left (and some on the back) was added on later, sometime in the 18th or 19th cent, we're not sure.

Here are some links of other pics I've posted in the past, they were posted before my new template, so the pics are bigger than the body. I can't be bothered to fix them:

Pics of the house, garden and summerhouse

The fireplace in the scullery

Some of the weird things about our house

Antique snails

2005-09-21T14:25:00.000+01:00

We've had a depression in our living room floor (where the floorboards had broken) for ages now; one of the hazards of living in a 16th cent. house. A few months ago I read a National trust article about excavations done under floorboards in very old houses; they found everything from mummified mice, to shoes, children's toys, and small items that fell through the floor boards. Since our house is so old, we were really curious to see if there was anything under our floor.

Turns out there was nothing under ours. Nothing at all. Just the ground. Eeewww. Seriously, he pulled up the floorboards, and there was the ground. Dirt. With snail shells, and rocks and stuff. I couldn't believe it. I guess they didn't have concrete foundations in the 1500's, eh? It does make me wonder why the house doesn't just sink, as wet as it is here?

You have to check out the pics below...

This is the view from above when they pulled back the carpet. See the dirt?? See it?? Eeew! (the concrete at the bottom of the pic is where the old part of the house meets the new addition (built in the 1800s).

Close up view of the dirt....

Do you see my couch and the dirt in the same picture?? There is something really wrong with that!

There's one of the original floor beams (see the bark??), with the antique snail shell. I wonder if we can sell it on ebay?

It's all fixed now and carpeted back over, but now I want to go around the house and rip up random pieces of floor to see what's underneath. I don't suppose the landlord would like it, though. Damn.

Can't blog, ebaying...

2005-09-19T12:37:00.000+01:00

Ok, so I know I'm behind the power curve--but OMG I LOVE ebay! I'd only ever checked it out by randomly looking through what's on offer. That is NOT the way to ebay--the stuff is just not organized well enough to "browse". You have to know what you're looking for, and having never done that, I couldn't understand why everyone liked ebay so much.

A couple days ago I got on to search for a specific item--and found tons of what I was looking for. So, now I'm hooked. I'm going to go broke, plain and simple. Holy crap, there's some cool stuff on there! Beware--if you're expecting a Christmas present from me, odds are it's coming from ebay!

Here's a sample of some of the things I'm currently bidding on.

An antique syringe set, complete with original boxes. How awesome is that!!

An antique powder flask--again, too cool! I just can't find this stuff anywhere else...

BTW--these are MINE! If you bid against me, I will kneecap you. Just kidding (almost)!

Spontaneous combustion explained

2005-09-18T22:07:00.000+01:00

Earlier today, I came across one of the strangest articles I've read in a while.

"An Australian man built up a 40,000-volt charge of static electricity
in his clothes as he walked, leaving a trail of scorched carpet and molten plastic and forcing firefighters to evacuate a building..."

When this guy, wearing a wool shirt and nylon jacket walked into a building, he caught the carpet on fire. He left (apparently without knowing he'd done any damage) and got in his car--where he burned the floorboards. At that point he figured it out and asked the firefighters for help. They took his jacket--and even in storage it kept its 40,000-volt charge! Apparently if the voltage had gotten any stronger, his clothes would have spontaneously ignited. Maybe he should be the new Static Guard poster child! "Don't let what happened to me happen to you, buy Static Guard today".

NOT the hostess with the mostest!

2005-09-16T14:25:00.000+01:00

Ok guys, I need your help. My daughter has been doing exceptionally well in the transition to middle school--she's kicking butt on her several hours of homework every night, working really hard in class, and generally being a great kid all around. I'm very proud of her! So, when she asked if she could have a Halloween party, I agreed.

But here's the thing. I can't remember ever even BEING to a Halloween party, let alone THROWING one! Yikes! I know there are people out there who are awesome party-throwers who could probably give me a tip or twenty--if you're one of those, please do. I can't even fathom having 15 middle-school aged kids at my house, forget about entertaining or feeding them! If you've got any ghoulish recipes, scary decoration ideas, or freaky games to play please please share! If not, a little moral support goes a long way!

I promise eternal beauty and riches to any people who supply me with ideas! Or at least pictures of the little hellions partying it up on Halloween...

A bit sheepish

2005-09-15T00:01:00.000+01:00

I keep saying that my dog is dumber than a box of rocks--and today he proved it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

He's been kept outside on a lead the last few days during working hours--we've had painters and builders working in our yard. It's a very long lead, and he has everything he needs over there, but he doesn't like it very much. Because he's such a big dog (and the workers are afraid of him), he's on a cable lead attached to a tree, and a steel choke collar.

Today I opened the door to let the cat out, and saw Wolfie trotting up to the house. He'd apparently decided he didn't want to be on the lead any more, and BENT his choke collar and got it off.

I didn't even know they could do that! The collar is like a chain, with two larger metal loops on the ends, and you have to slide the chain through the loop then place it over his head. He pulled so hard on it he bent the loop so the other loop could fit through!

The reason this makes him dumb is because he pulled so hard he hurt himself. We had to take him to the vet today to make sure he hadn't done any serious damage. He just kept crying and whining, and moving really slow. He's fine, though. The vet put him on doggy motrin cause he bruised himself up, but he'll feel better in a day or two.

Meanwhile, he's moping around the house looking really sheepish; as if he feels kind of dumb. Hmmm.... It's a good thing he's cute (and sweet).

Trade dispute of the week

2005-09-13T19:25:00.000+01:00

This article made me laugh. It's from the Sunday Times this past weekend:

"An official union of Indian eunuchs has called on police to take action against beggars who are only pretending to be castrated. The Uttar Pradesh Eunuchs Association says the fake eunuchs have been arriving at weddings, engagement parties and other social functions to beg for cash. Genuine eunuchs have been confronting the imposters and demanding to check their private parts, and now want police to do the same. The eunuchs collect money from social events, often by threatening to expose themselves."

Beggars who are only pretending to be castrated??? WTF?!? Why are people giving money to eunuchs anyway? Actually, even more intriguing than that--why are there eunuchs in the first place--especially enough eunuchs to require an official union?? Is it some sort of fashion statement? If so, it's kind of dumb since you can't see if someone is or isn't castrated. Hmmm... Anyone know what's up with this, if so, please comment and spill the beans...

Crappy kids drawings

2005-09-10T18:22:00.000+01:00

If you have kids you have to check out this page, and this one. They're kind of mean, but oh so funny!

Melancholy and riveter's sons

2005-09-10T16:06:00.000+01:00

I've felt very melancholy all day today. My mood is no doubt related to the weather; it's been very grey, raining continuously. It's the kind of day where the sun never seems to actually rise, but instead it looks like dusk all day long.

I remember reading ages ago about smell--how it's the most primitive and the slowest of all our senses. the only one with unmyelinated nerve endings. The olfactory system is directly connected to the amygdala, the part of the brain dealing with emotion and memory, smell is also the sense most tied with memory. Meaning that occasionally a "faint fragrance brings a memory of a long-lost moment in time crashing back to the forefront of the mind". Smells are also emotive. They trigger feelings; the comforting scent of home-baked chocolate chip cookies or of fresh coffee--hence the popularity of scented candles, aromatherapy and perfumes.

I think music has the same effect. There are some songs that are so intricately tied to memory that upon hearing them I am immediately transported back to some important moment, or even a whole period of my life. I know I'm not alone in this. Check out the recent surge of blog entries floating around out there listing the top 100 songs from the year you graduated high school. Several even say something along the lines of "I am also putting the songs I don't actually like (because they are crap), but would still listen to for nostalgic purposes in italics."

I think everyone has songs that mean something special to them. Songs have that power. And it isn't just nostalgia; some songs are "mood songs", just listening to them can evoke strong feelings, again and again. (I know I'm not the only one here...) One musician I love, Sting, has a very high proportion of songs that can make me cry, or smile, just listening to them.

Driving in my car today exactly that happened to me. I put on one of my favorite Sting cds, and Island of Souls came on. It's a very haunting song; it opens with Northumbrian pipes and maintains an air of quiet futility throughout. This one always makes me cry. He wrote it shortly after his father died, and some have said that it's actually an autobiographical song--his dad was definitely working class, a coal miner, I think. Sting has a wonderful way with words, he uses imagery and metapor to great effect; I adore his writing style. This song isn't nearly as gripping without the music, but I thought I'd share the lyrics:

Billy was born within sight of the shipyard
First son of a riveter's son
And Billy was raised as the ship grew a shadow
Her great hull would blot out the light of the sun
And six days a week he would watch his poor father
A working man live like a slave
He'd drink every night, and he'd dream of a future,
Of money he never would save
Billy would cry when he thought of the future

Soon came a day when the bottle was broken
They launched the great ship out to sea
He felt he'd been left on a desolate shore
To a future he desperately wanted to flee

What else was there for a ship-builder's son
A new ship to be built, new work to be done
One day he dreamed of the ship in the world
It would carry his father and he
To a place they would never be found
To a place far away from this town

Trapped in the cage of the skeleton ship
All the workmen suspended like flies
Caught in the flare of acetylene light
A working man works till the industry dies

And Billy would cry when he thought of the future
Then what they call an industrial accident
Crushed those it couldn't forgive
They brought Billy's father back home in an ambulance
A brass watch, a cheque, maybe three weeks to live

What else was there for a riveter's son?
A new ship to be built, new work to be done
That night he dreamed of the ship in the world
It would carry his father and he
To a place they could never be found
To a place far away from this town,
A Newcastle ship with no coals
They would sail to the island of souls

Enough for now (if you don't like this entry, blame the meds!)

Someone's having a laugh

2005-09-08T12:23:00.000+01:00

Because I live in England, where everything costs twice as much as at home, I tend to do most of my shopping on Amazon.com. I especially like the Amazon customer reviews--they're not edited, so if there's something really wrong with a product you can usually find out from the reviews. And even if they're completely illiterate (which a lot of them are), they usually make some good points.

So while I was birthday shopping today, I checked out the Lite Brite cube and came across this gem of a review...

"Disappointment from a longtime Lite Brite fan..., May 4, 2005
Reviewer: James Heyer "James Heyer" (Philadelphia, PA) - See all my reviews I am a (...)college student at the University of Pennsylvania and I recently received the Lite Brite Cube as a gift from my dear mother. It was a wonderful gift idea, as I have always loved Hasbro's Lite Brite series of play things. When I first opened the Lite Brite Cube on that magical morning in May, my eyes filled with tears. These were not tears of sadness mind you, but tears of pure joy.

I had a feeling my mother would get me the Lite Brite Cube, but it wasn't until it was sitting there in front of me, shining with all its beautiful lights and colors, that I knew it was for real.

My mother really loved me, she knew the Lite Brite Cube was my only desire -- my only love.

Once I wiped away the tears and took a nap with my mother to calm down, I used the Lite Brite Cube for the first time and, I must say, I was extremely disappointed by the overall quality of this particular product.
In years past, I have always used my Lite Brite to make pictures of my favorite things in life: flowers, bunny rabbits, and especially, CANDY!! I love CANDY! But whenever I tried to make pictures of CANDY on the Lite Brite Cube, the black coating would peel off and cause me extreme discomfort. It got to the point where I couldn't even use the Lite Brite Cube, for the discomfort it cause me was so severe.

I began losing control of my bodily functions every time I so much as thought about the Lite Brite Cube -- all because of the disappointment I was feeling at a crucial element of my youth ruined by the corporate codfeathers who designed the Lite Brite Cube. While I recommend the original Lite Brite(Tm) to any mother looking for the perfect gift for her college son, I simply cannot give my reccomendation to the Lite Brite Cube. I'm sorry......very, very sorry. I love you mom."

I'm seriously hoping this man is having a laugh. If not, I see a new Norman Bates in the making...

What do I do now??

2005-09-07T14:08:00.000+01:00

I went back to see my urologist yesterday. Because I'm still having problems he put me on another 3 weeks of convalescent leave. He says I just need more time to heal after all (7) of my surgeries in the last 9 months. Fine. I'll try to heal as quickly as I can, but something's got to start working for me or I'm going to lose my mind. I can't keep myself occupied.

It probably sounds like a blessing; the bulk of nine months off work, and still getting paid. I really am lucky to have a job that doesn't fire me cause of health problems--we'd be up a creek if I wasn't getting paid. But here's the problem--I can't enjoy that time.

I'm having lots of pain, so I'm stoned most of the day on meds. I'm taking 40 mg of oxycodone three times a day; it's super-strong percocet, one pill is the equivalent of 8 percocet tablets! After a while your body develops a tolerance to the meds, so they have to keep raising the dose for it to be effective. I can't do much of anything that involves brain power, cause I just don't have any right now. So, here are some examples of what I've done:

Organized every closet in the house. Not just clear out, but divide clothes by type (short sleeves, long sleeves, etc). How's that for anal?
Organized all drawers, again by type
Sorted 11 years worth of pictures, divided and organized by type/time frame. Assembled photo albums.
Gathered together seven boxes of clothing, sheets, toys, books, etc and sent them to Louisiana.
Started a journal
Started blogging (yes, I've been on con leave most of the time this has been going!)
Caught up on letters and other correspondence
Done lots of internet shopping
Read over 50 books (I read quickly)
Gardened (only on good days when I was feeling ok--had to quit that cause I figured out that even if I felt ok at the start, I sure as hell didn't by the end!)
Bought lots of new makeup in the hopes that if I looked better, I might feel better (doesn't work, btw)
Do my nails every other day (I'm not a makeup/nails/girly kind of person--those of you who know me will understand how strange this is for me)
Run my long-distance (international) phone bill up tremendously high

That probably gives you some idea of how bored I am!! Don't get me wrong, I'm really really enjoying being home with my kids. I love spending the time with them; I don't usually get to do that, and it's wonderful to have the opportunity now. But I really need to get back to work before I lose my mind.

If you have any ideas of what else I can do to keep occupied, please please comment and share them with me! My house can't stand any more cleaning, and I'm not a crafty person, and I have to do things in short spurts because of the pain, so please let me know if you have any thoughts!

Something good for a change

2005-09-07T13:13:00.000+01:00

Amidst all the chaos and finger pointing that's going on about the Gulf Coast, this story made me smile.

"Tuesday was the fourth straight day that the staff of Salon des Amis invited Hurricane Katrina evacuees into their beauty shop for complimentary makeovers. "I thought, 'We don't do brain surgery here, but we know women like to feel good about themselves,' " owner Michelle Johnson said.

Employees have been picking up interested women and bringing them to the Guilbeau Road salon. The women get haircuts, hand treatments, makeup applications, eyebrow waxings, a hearty lunch and a whole lot of pampering.

Lafayette residents donated clothes and accessories to the salon, which turned two rooms in the back into a type of shopping area for the women. But the items in this shop have no price tags."

What a great idea! Some of these women had never been to a beauty salon before, so this was even more of a treat. What an awesome way to lift someone's spirits in a situation like this. And they get new clothes and good food to boot, so its truly a total treatment.

Not everyone can give money or donate goods; some people just don't have the resources. But this story shows that, with a little creativity and goodwill, we can all help in one way or another.

Change of pace

2005-09-05T16:36:00.000+01:00

This is something you don't hear very often, not coming from a third world country which is usually on the receiving side of aid, not the giving side:

' "It's disastrous, it's devastating, I feel so sorry for these people," said Abdulwahab Garba, a pump attendant at a filling station in the Nigerian capital Abuja, waving a copy of a newspaper with a front-page picture from the disaster zone.

"If I had money I would have contributed for food and shelter. I don't have money, but my assistance is to pray for them," he said. '

Interesting...

This made me sick

2005-09-04T14:09:00.000+01:00

This link pretty much sums up why the lawlessness in New Orleans got so bad so quickly. I hope these women are jailed when the dust settles.

My music

2005-09-04T11:46:00.000+01:00

Ok, I'm stealing this idea from Jen, Scott and Renee cause I'm feeling lazy today. Go here and scroll down to find the top 100 songs from the year you graduated from high school. Put the ones you liked in bold. I was going to put the ones I absolutely hate in italics. But there were way too many of those, I'm afraid--I was not a top 40 kind of girl. So instead, I've italicized the ones I've never heard of.

1. Look Away, Chicago
2. My Prerogative, Bobby Brown
3. Every Rose Has Its Thorn, Poison
4. Straight Up, Paula Abdul
5. Miss You Much, Janet Jackson
6. Cold Hearted, Paula Abdul
7. Wind Beneath My Wings, Bette Midler
8. Girl You Know Its True, Milli Vanilli
9. Baby, I Love Your Way/Freebird, Will To Power
10. Giving You The Best That I Got, Anita Baker
11. Right Here Waiting, Richard Marx
12. Waiting For A Star To Fall, Boy Meets Girl
13. Lost In Your Eyes, Debbie Gibson
14. Don't Wanna Lose You, Gloria Estefan
15. Heavan, Warrant
16. Girl I'm Gonna Miss You, Milli Vanilli
17. The Look, Roxette
18. She Drives Me Crazy, Fine Young Cannibals
19. On Our Own, Bobby Brown
20. Two Hearts, Phil Collins
21. Blame It On The Rain, Milli Vanilli
22. Listen To Your Heart, Roxette
23. I'll Be There For You, Bon Jovi
24. If You Don't Know Me By Now, Simply Red
25. Like A Prayer, Madonna
26. I'll Be Loving You (Forever), New Kids On The Block
27. How Can I Fall?, Breathe
28. Baby Don't Forget My Number, Milli Vanilli
29. Toy Solider, Martika
30. Forever Your Girl, Paula Abdul
31. The Living Years, Mike and the Mechanics
32. Eternal Flame, The Bangles
33. Wild Thing, Tone Loc
34. When I See You Smile, Bad English
35. If I Could Turn Back Time, Cher
36. Buffalo Stance, Neneh Cherry
37. When I'm With You, Sheriff
38. Don't Rush Me, Taylor Dayne
39. Born To Be My Baby, Bon Jovi
40. Good Thing, Fine Young Cannibals
41. The Lover In Me, Sheena Easton
42. Bust A Move, Young M.C.
43. Once Bitten, Twice Shy, Great White
44. Batdance, Prince
45. Rock On, Michael Damian
46. Real Lov, Jody Watley
47. Love Shack, B-52's
48. Every Little Step, Bobby Brown
49. Hangin' Tough, New Kids On The Block
50. My Heart Can't Tell You No, Rod Stewart
51. So Alive, Love and Rockets
52. You Got It (The Right Stuff), New Kids On The Block
53. Armageddon It, Def Leppard
54. Satisfied, Richard Marx
55. Express Yourself, Madonna
56. I Like It, Dino
57. Soldier Of Love, Donny Osmond
58. Sowing The Seeds Of Love, Tears For Fears
59. Cherish, Madonna
60. When The Children Cry, White Lion
61. 18 And Life, Skid Row
62. I Don't Want Your Love, Duran Duran
63. Second Chances, .38 Special
64. The Way You Love Me, Karyn White
65. Funky Cold Medina, Tone Loc
66. In Your Room, Bangles
67. Miss You Like Crazy, Natalie Cole
68. Love Song, Cure
69. Secret Rendesvous, Karyn White
70. Angel Eyes, Jeff Healey Band
71. Patience, Guns N' Roses
72. Walk On Water, Eddie Money
73. Cover Girl, New Kids On The Block
74. Welcome To The Jungle, Guns N' Roses
75. Shower Me With Your Love, Surface
76. Stand, R.E.M.
77. Close My Eyes Forever, Lita Ford
78. All This Time, Tiffany
79. After All, Cher and Peter Cetera
80. Roni, Bobby Brown
81. Love In An Elevator, Aerosmith
82. Lay Your Hands On Me, Bon Jovi
83. This Promise, When In Rome
84. What I Am, Edie Brickell and The New Bohemians
85. I Remember Holding You, Boys Club
86. Paradise City, Guns N' Roses
87. Iwanna Have Some Fun, Samantha Fox
88. She Wants To Dance With Me, Rick Astley
89. Dreamin', Vanessa Williams
90. It's No Crime, Babyface
91. Poison, Alice Cooper
92. This Time I Know It's For Real, Donna Summer
93. Smooth Criminal, Michael Jackson
94. Heavan Help Me, Deon Estus
95. Rock Wit'cha, Bobby Brown
96. Thinking Of You, Sa-fire
97. What You Don't Know, Expose
98. Surrender To Me, Ann Wilson and Robin Zander
99. The End Of The Innocence, Don Henley
100. Keep On Movin', Soul II Soul

Happy Birthday, little man!

2005-09-03T22:29:00.000+01:00

Today was little man's birthday--he's now a big four year old. And it looks as if he's finally outgrown the psychological damage I inflicted on him on his 2nd birthday.

Let me explain. I'm not a crafty person. I can't knit or crochet, I can't even sew except simple repairs. I don't scrapbook, I can't draw, and although I have loads of creativity in me, I can't express any of it in anything remotely crafty. I just don't make stuff, I buy it.

But on Liam's 2nd birthday I decided that to change that. I was going to make him a cake, and it was going to be beautiful. I read up on decorating, and then went shopping. I bought a cake pan shaped like Blue, and all the bags and tips and equipment I could find that would help me make a cake that looked like Blue.

I slaved for nearly the whole day on this cake. I had bowls and bowls of icing that I'd mixed up, struggling to mix the colors just right. I decorated, scraped off, then decorated some more. I was so stressed about this cake, I wanted it to be just right.

Finally at about 10 that night I was finished. My cake was beautiful! It looked just like Blue, and I was so proud of myself I could hardly stand it. I'd NEVER done anything like that before, and here was this great cake in front of me that I did all by myself. I went to bed exhausted but extremely fulfilled.

The next day was little man's party. I couldn't wait for him to see his cake, I just knew he'd love it. And sure enough, when cake time came, his little face lit up and made all those hours of work completely worth the effort. We all sang happy birthday, Liam blew out his candles, and I cut into the top of the cake and gave him a piece.

He started screaming bloody murder, "No, no, put it back!!" He cried at the top of his lungs, like someone was killing him. I had cut Blue's ear off, and apparently Liam took it seriously. He sobbed and sobbed until I took the piece of cake off his plate, put Blue's ear back on, fixed the frosting and put the cake away. He was so upset. I'm not sure what happened--I mean I know he couldn't have thought it was really Blue--but he was truly devastated. No one had any cake until he'd gone to bed that night.

And from that day to this, whenever the child hears the birthday song, he screams, "No, no!" and cries his little heart out. At other kids' birthday parties we have to take him out of the room until the singing has safely finished. He cries when they sing it on tv, or someone sings it to him on the phone--any time he hears it.

But today, for some unknown reason, we got to sing to him. He actually let us sing the birthday song. He's finally cured! I didn't permanently damage him--I'm so relieved! And I will never, ever, make him a cake shaped like anything ever ever again. So, happy birthday my big 4-year-old, I'm so glad I didn't break you.

Insomnia

2005-09-02T07:34:00.000+01:00

I don't know what happened, but I just couldn't get to sleep last night. I even tried moving down to the couch and watching tv until fell asleep, but no go. I finally managed to doze off an hour before I had to get up. I hate it when that happens.

Unlike me, my little man has no such problems. I can't even imagine being able to sleep in this position, but he was happily dreaming away half on one bed and half on the other. At least his head was still on the pillow. :) Ah, to be three again....

Unreal

2005-09-01T22:09:00.000+01:00

I don't have words to describe how appalled and shocked I am. New Orleans looks like East Timor, not America.

"Storm victims were raped and beaten, fights and fires broke out, corpses lay out in the open, and rescue helicopters and law enforcement officers were shot at..."

If I had read this out of context, I would assume they were talking about some third world country, not New Orleans.

And not just New Orleans, but the entire Gulf Coast.

"According to the White House, nearly 155,350 sq miles (250,000 sq km) has been affected by the hurricane - an area roughly the size of the UK. "

This is just unbelievable. I have a pretty good idea of the logistical nightmare that the rescue and evac operations are facing, but I still can't understand the pace. Why can't we rescue these people? Why can't we manage to get them some food, water and medical assistance? Why can't they be evacuated?

"This is a national emergency. This is a national disgrace. FEMA has been here three days, yet there is no command and control. We can send massive amounts of aid to tsunami victims, but we can't bail out the city of New Orleans."

Thousands are going to start dying (if they aren't already) if nothing is done. Dehydration, other heat-related illnesses, cholera and dysentery are going to start rearing their ugly heads soon. The city is a public health nightmare, with the standing water and bodies. There is no sanitation; no bathrooms, no clean water, not to mention shelter or food. I can't believe this is happening in the U.S.

How has this gone so desperately wrong? Why is there no communication? And why (someone please tell me if you know) are people shooting at the National Guard and others who are trying to help? Those people aren't even human.

And why if all these journalists can get in and get footage, why can't THEY take some food and water with them? Seriously.

FEMA--send some of these people to me. I will buy their plane tickets and house them until they can go home. Seriously. If anyone wants to help, here is a list of charities that desperately need assistance to give to the people of the Gulf Coast. Cash is best, and please designate it for hurricane relief.

My heart and thoughts go out to those stranded in that hellhole. I'm going to give my kids a huge hug and thank God that they're tucked up safe in their beds, and pray for those who aren't.

I've banned whining

2005-08-29T16:15:00.000+01:00

It's been a crazy few days around here. I've been stuck in a pity party about my situation but I didn't want to blog about it any more, so I held off. I feel better about things now, more resigned, so I'm back. :)

Amelia started middle school today. She's been so excited about this for so long that I was glad the day finally came. She's been picking out "first day" outfits since May! Since she had it so built up in her mind, I was afraid that the reality wouldn't live up to the expectations, but she absolutely loved it! She's infatuated with the whole idea of moving from class to class, having a locker and that sort of thing. I hope she continues to enjoy it as the year progresses, maybe she'll work harder at school. Amelia's an incredibly smart girl, but most of the time she either can't be bothered, or forgets, to do things like turn her homework in. This year, not only will her grades suffer if she doesn't, but she also gets detention. Woo-hooo! Maybe that will make her think twice. But basically, I just want her to enjoy it and to live up to her potential--isn't that what every parent wants?

Liam is still adjusting to the time change, I think. He's become an absolute terror at bedtimes; it's a good thing he's cute! It never used to be a problem, but now every night we're treated to temper tantrums, screaming--the works--at bedtime. I'm hoping it passes soon. He's going through another phase now as well; he loves putting makeup on. This really bothers his dad, but I don't see a problem with it. He sees me doing it, and wants to "play" too; it's not like it's going to affect his choice of lifestyle as an adult--he's not even four yet. If you have sons and you've gone through this phase, please comment so I can show my DH it's really not a big deal? Please?? Liam really is a sweetie, though--the other night he cuddled up with me and said, "Mommy, I want to marry you". Awwww. In the next breath he said he wanted to marry the Power Rangers, but I'm choosing to forget that part.

Friday we got the dog neutered (woo-hoo!!). I've been wanting to do it for a long time, but DH was holding off--must be a guy thing. He's a huge dog, and even though he's over 2 now, he still acts like an over-excitable little puppy. If he was a little ankle-biter we could live with it, but when he gets excited he knocks people over. Considering he's bigger than Liam, that's not a good thing. Don't get me wrong, Wolfie doesn't have a mean bone in his body, but he's just too big to act like he does. The vet assured us that neutering would help. Apparently it takes a week or two for the testosterone to get out of his body, then he should calm down. Wish me luck!

Well, I made it through the whole post without bitching about my bladder or my doctor! I'm going now before I'm tempted to start!

Ok, here's the story

2005-08-26T09:56:00.000+01:00

We got back on Saturday, after about 20 hours of travelling. We had to fly from DC to Frankfurt, Germany, and then on to London. Very, very annoying, considering we flew directly over London and kept going on, and didn't actually land there until 6 hours later. I really just wanted a parachute. At least they didn't lose our luggage this time.

Making that sort of trip with children is not a fun experience. Anyone who has kids can sympathize. My 3 year old didn't sleep the ENTIRE TIME. Arrgghh! He was loads of fun by the time we landed in London, I can assure you. He spent the night literally screaming the alphabet song (if you were on that flight, I do apologize). We love him, and we were still ready to strangle him, so I can just imagine what the other passengers thought. My brand-new 11 yr old didn't stop talking nearly the whole way (do all girls do this?), and she didn't sleep either.

In fact, the only one who did get sleep (probably on the whole plane) was me--better living through pharmaceuticals!

Unfortunately, the surgery didn't work, so I'm in basically the same boat I was 5 weeks before this odyssey began. Namely, lots of pain, lots of problems peeing, etc. The really bad news is that no one will surgically touch me now for a year or two. Something about waiting for the area to "heal" since I've had 7 surgeries in the past 8 months. I think it has something more to do with me being a law suit waiting to happen. So there's no hope of getting better any time soon unless my body miraculously heals itself. Somehow I don't think that's going to happen. The even better news is that if I can't get myself in shape to work, and soon, I will be med boarded and lose my job.

Yup, that's right. They broke me, and now since I'm broken, they don't want me. Gotta love the irony in that. Anyway, it was those bits of information made me lose the heart to blog for a while. I think I'm over the pity party now though, and now I'm just mad.

I'm making an appointment with the first surgeon (the one who broke me) just to ask him for an apology. I mean, I can't sue him or anything, so he has nothing to lose. And even if he didn't do anything technically wrong (which I don't believe, I think he used me as a guinea pig for a procedure he'd never done before), I still want him to apologize for everything going so badly. I think it might make me feel better. I mean, shit happens. This time it happened to me, you're not supposed to be desperately worse after surgery...

Enough moaning for now---sorry about that folks! At least they have me on effective pain meds now, so I'm feeling better (and stupid). I'm going back to work on the 6th--so everyone keep your fingers crossed that it goes ok. I really can't afford to be unemployed, especially since I've only got 7 more years until retirement and a paycheck/benefits for life. So let's see if I can impress them and do a good job while on super-narcotics! :)

Gotta run, another dr's appointment--have fun!

Go on--beat the crap out of him!

2005-08-25T11:52:00.000+01:00

This seems pretty reasonable to me.

"Enraged parents beat up an Indian headmaster who threatened teenage girls with a cane to force them to strip and then photographed them, police said on Thursday."

After beating him, they humiliated him, and THEN took him to the cops. Now, why can't we do that here??

I'm back!

2005-08-23T20:37:00.000+01:00

Well, we made it back in one piece. It was wonderful to visit with the family, but the surgery didn't go as planned. Between the jet lag, the bad news from the doctor, and new meds I'm on I just don't have the heart to do a full post today.

I'll post tomorrow with some pics of our trip, and try to share with you some of the joys of travelling with kids. Until then, be good, ya'll!

Guest Blogger!

2005-08-17T07:10:00.000+01:00

Hey there, it's Julie's sister, Jen, just dropping everyone a quick line on her behalf.

As you all know, Julie's been here in the States for some medical stuff. She's been unable to get consistent internet access to let everyone know she's doing OK. She should be back home and posting by Monday or so.

But, since I have her password, I thought I'd take this opportunity to give her a big fat kiss, since the 18th is her birthday! So, here it is:

Yup, that's me kissing the crap right out of my brand new sister, way back in 197? (you'll have to ask her.)

Happy Birthday, Julie, hope it's happy and pain-free. Kisses from all of us to all of you!

Happy Birthday to Jen!!

2005-08-10T07:29:00.000+01:00

Today is my sister, Jen's, birthday (I'll let her tell you which one). She's the best sister anyone could have, and just a little bit mad to boot. :) Not only do I love talking/hanging out with her, it's a whole lot cheaper than therapy!

If you get a chance, stop by Jen's Horde and wish her a great day.

The sisters, a very long time ago! :)

Found the 'housesitter' and the dog

2005-08-09T21:33:00.000+01:00

Update.

I finally located the housesitter--she's NOT staying at my house. Excuse me, but isn't that the entire purpose of having a housesitter?!? The best part of it is that she couldn't give me a reason why she's not staying there, just that "I thought it'd be ok". I assured her it was not.

My dog is living at another co-worker's house temporarily (this one actually works for me, at least I know she's reliable) since the "sitter" "couldn't make it out there everyday".
GRRRRRRR. Hypothetically she's going to give the keys to a neighbor so they can allow the painters in.

At least I know the pets are ok, and the landlord seemed a bit placated when I explained that we weren't actually on holiday but here for major surgery. Still, our lease is up in November and not only do I love the house and not want to move, but after all this we just don't have the money to move.

I just want to know what's coming next?!?! I won't tempt fate by asking what else could go wrong, but damn....I think it's just about time for something to go right for a change!

Where the F*ck is my dog?!?

2005-08-09T05:12:00.000+01:00

Imagine that, hypothetically, you needed major surgery and had to travel to a different country to get it. Imagine that this surgery will be your 7th one in 9 months' time. For obvious reasons, you'd like your husband to accompany you as you'll be gone for over a month.

Because you'll be gone so long, you decide to have a trustworthy co-worker housesit for you; both to take care of your 3 pets and to keep an eye on the house. Said co-worker is given lots of instructions (written and verbal) on what needs to be done while you're gone, numerous ways to contact you, and agrees to accept the responsibility of staying at your house and feeding your animals. She is given many opportunities to change her mind and say she isn't up for it, but states that she'd love to do it, and agrees to take care of the things we discussed. She's also given the number and info for our kennel in case taking care of the animals proves too much for her--and told to drop them off if she needs to and we'll pay the bill when we return.

Occasionally you receive emails from the housesitter saying that everything is going fine.

Then, when you've been gone for almost a month you receive a very nasty email from your landlord saying that NO ONE has been staying at your house, the animals are only being fed once every other day, and the "housesitter" dropped off your keys and instructions to feed the dog with your neighbor(!?!?!) The landlord states that he was then told the dog is apparently now being kept in someone else's yard about 20 miles away.

The "housesitter" has apparently not contacted the gardeners (as she said she'd done) to remind them to come round weekly while you're gone, and on top of everything else, the landlord is angry that the garden is overgrown, and the painters he hired to paint the outside of the house can't get access.

I can't remember the last time I was this pissed. If you say you're going to do something, then you bloody well do it. If you find you can't, then you tell me. Don't lie to me and say everything's fine when you're fucking with my pets, my home and my lease. Not to mention my neighbors and my landlord.

And on top of it all, I know NO ONE in the village where my dog is apparently residing now. WTF!

On the bright side, this bitch works at the same place as I do. My boss is her boss. And my boss is most definitely not happy with her. Especially not after I called him at home to ask for his help, he knows I'm only a couple days out of major surgery and my hands are tied over here. I can barely bloody walk, let alone get over there and kick some ass.

In my line of work you just don't fuck over a co-worker like that. It's an integrity thing. Just don't do it. And you definitely don't lie about it. I hope for her sake she has receipts for the $200 I left her for pet food. I will press charges for left, and anything else I can make stick.

Don't worry Wolfie, Becks and Boudicat--we'll be home soon. Let's just hope we still have a home when our lease expires.

Rant over--just had to get it off my chest.

Anyone want to lend me 70M pounds

2005-08-06T21:38:00.000+01:00

so I can live here? Apparently my neighbors would be Elton John and the Queen. Probably a pretty nice area, then.

This mansion has just been named "the world's most expensive house".
It has 103 rooms, 58 acres, 5 swimming pools, private theater, bowling alley, stables, squash/tennis courts. It also has a "heated marble driveway". WTF?!?!
I have no clue why anyone would need a heated driveway---especially in an area where it hardly ever snows....

I'm sure I could find a use for it--anyone got 70 million pounds to spare?

I hope they shoot him

2005-08-05T18:54:00.000+01:00

I hate flying. First I had to worry about crashing. Then it was terrorists AND crashing. Now apparently I have to worry about being molested too? I wish I was making this up!

A business executive was sentenced on Thursday to seven years in prison for sexually assaulting a sleeping woman seated next to him on a Delta Air Lines flight from Dallas to Boston....Deepak Jahagirdar, 55, laid a blanket over the 22-year-old woman who was returning from a vacation, unfastened her seat belt, unbuttoned her pants and assaulted her by touching her genitals.

The thing is, they called him a "business executive", which leads me to believe he was probably dressed in a decent suit, etc--I bet he didn't even look like the dirtbag he is. I hope his prison roommate is a big hairy nasty stinky guy with genital herpes and halistosis, called Bubba, who makes this guy his sex bitch for the next 7 years.
"Come here biyatch, I need some luvin!" Have fun in jail, Deepak!

Wonderful guy

2005-08-04T18:40:00.000+01:00

To my wonderful husband,

I want to tell you how much I appreciate all you've done through all my surgeries and everything this year. I know I don't always say it, but I don't know what I would have done without you over the last 9 months. You've had to take up my slack on just about everything--not to mention listen to me whine and complain since December. As you know, I'm not an easy person to live with under the best circumstances. In pain and on meds, I'm a downright bitch!

Thank you for taking care of me, for running all my errands, bringing me food, and for being there to listen to me moan and bitch and cry. Thank you for not letting me walk out of the OR holding area every time when the thought of the anesthesia and increased pain scared me. Thank you for standing up for my rights when the nurses give me a hard time, or won't do what I need.

Thank you for all the little things you do as well--helping me in the shower, helping me sort out the equipment I have to use, reminding me not to do things I'm not supposed to do. :) Thank you for being understanding and patient--I know this has all been hard on you too. And most of all, thank you for not complaining about the ways these surgeries have affected you, too.

I love you, sweetie!

They let me go...

2005-08-04T04:23:00.000+01:00

a day early. Hooray! I'm back in the hotel now, and going to bed. Thanks to everyone for their kind thoughts and prayers--something must have worked! The surgery apparently went well; although they weren't able to fix all the problems, they did fix the hole in my urethra. Now I'll have to wait a while to see if the pain or pee problems have gotten any better. I'll post tomorrow when I'm (hopefully) feeling a little better.

BTW--does anyone know what virus could make my computer continuously type asterisks on the screen when no one's pushing the * button? I don't have the strength or energy to try to fix it right now, but the curiosity is getting the better of me. My Norton virus definitions are up to date, but nothing's showing up on the scans??? I sooo do NOT need this right now!

Do you really want to know?

2005-08-02T06:36:00.000+01:00

Several people have asked if I'm ever going to share what all these surgeries have been about. I'm a couple hours out from my 7th surgery this year, and I can't sleep (which is fine cause I'll be sleeping all day tomorrow!) so I decided to go ahead and blog the story. This will hopefully satisfy any curiosity out there--but it also fits into the "too much information" category. I can't sleep anyway cause I'm nervous, so maybe a little venting will help.

WARNING--contains graphic girly stuff! I meant to use an expanded post--but I can't get the stupid thing to work---so if you don't want to know, stop reading now!

This surgery is to try to correct a urethral fistula. This is a very rare condition in women--almost always caused by a previous surgery. Basically, it's a hole between the urethra (the tube that carries urine from the bladder to the outside) and the vagina. What that means is that when you pee, all of it comes out the wrong place. Sound like fun? Nope. They will be reconstructing my urethra using tissue from another part of my body. I can hardly wait!

My fistula was, in fact, caused by a surgeon (bitch). Remember that lovely hospital stay in London back in May? Yup, that surgeon (bitch) was supposed to be fixing my problems, and instead she put a hole in my urethra. She is not my favorite person.

Let me start at the beginning. I had my second child in 2001. I guess he didn't want to come out, because when he was born he pulled everything out with him. The traumatic birth caused both a uterine prolapse and a cystocele. Basically my uterus was coming out, and dragging my bladder with it. Since I didn't want any more kids, I opted for a hysterectomy (at the tender young age of 30) instead of major reconstructive surgery. Everything went well, and the repair should have held until I was an old lady.

But it didn't. Three years later the cystocele returned--as a grade IV, the worst kind. My bladder had fallen and was actually blocking the vaginal opening. You can imagine that was pretty uncomfortable, not to mention the fact that I couldn't ever empty my bladder. As luck would have it, I also had a rectocele; basically a prolapse of the intestine. Back to the OR.

Since I already had a failed repair, this time they decided to do a sling. The sling was essentially a tissue graft (made of porcine tissue) that created a "hammock" for my bladder to rest on. And that was when all the real problems started. I was back in the OR 2 weeks later because the tissue graft was infected--debridement and IV antibiotics for me. And from the first day they removed the catheter I have never been able to pee correctly. Either I can't go at all (first time that happened it caused a mad dash to the ER) or I go all over the place without meaning to. Really great stuff. I've had to use catheters regularly since December, and been through so many tests and evaluations that I could probably become a urologist myself!

I've had five subsequent surgeries trying to correct the problems the sling caused (urethral obstruction, painful bladder spasms, major incontinence issues, general pain). Tomorrow's surgery is to fix a problem that was caused during a surgery which was supposed to fix the real problems (which still haven't been fixed).

Well, I'm sure I've grossed you all out enough now--if anyone read this far, that is! I'm going to go find some other way to amuse myself for the next 2 1/2 hours before I have to be at the hospital. I should be discharged from the hospital on Thursday, so I'll post then and give an update. Until then, wish me luck!!!

Smithsonian: there's no place like home

2005-08-01T16:15:00.000+01:00

Ok, so after years of enduring taunts from my Brit hubbie about how America has no history, I decided to take him on a tour of DC's sites while we're here. Since I haven't been here in a few years, I searched for DC tourist info online. I'd been telling him how great the Smithsonian is, and when I saw the Museum of American History is in DC I thought, "Awesome, perfect, I'll take him there!" Then I read the description.

" The National Museum of American History is full of cultural touchstones - they've got the original American flag and, more importantly, the original Kermit the Frog, as well as Fonzie's leather jacket, Dorothy's ruby slippers and a whole bunch of sensible historical stuff."

Ok, I know we're a young country, but Fonzie's jacket?? Really?? At least the website author had the presence of mind to be tongue-in-cheek about it. I really want to go now--just for a good laugh--but I do NOT want to take DH. I don't think I could bear the teasing.

EDITED TO ADD: We did go to the Museum of American History. It actually had lots of cool stuff--the Star Spangled Banner that Francis Scott Key wrote about, a wonderful "The Price of Freedom--America at War" exhibit, and other actual historical stuff. The cheesy things were all in the Popular Culture exhibit--and boy were they cheesy! Mr Rogers' sweater, Howdy Doody, the chairs from All in the Family, that sort of thing. All I can say is WHY?? Scott giggled the whole way through. :)

I'm back online...

2005-07-27T00:09:00.000+01:00

Well, we made it. The kids did great on the flight over--no pee accidents and occasional bouts of silence, at least. No one slept a wink, though, so we were all majorly exhausted by the time we got to my Mom's.

Unfortunately our luggage didn't do as well. UNITED (just making sure you see that) lost three of our bags. One turned up two days later, the other 2 didn't arrive for a week. A WEEK. Meanwhile, no one knew where they were. Nope, no record anywhere. Told us they were gone. So we went out and bought my dh loads of clothes since he had nothing at all. And the whole week we couldn't reach anyone at UNITED who could help. I will never, EVER, fly them again.

Anyway, we had a great visit with my mom and her dh, and also my grandma. It was hot hot hot, though. I thought the heat was great--I've missed it during my time in the UK. On the other hand, my British dh refused to admit it was hotter than England--that is until he got the early signs of heat stroke. Oops. Now he freely admits it's hotter here. :)

My Dad, Dee and Mark picked us all up at the airport in DC on Saturday, then took the little ones with them to PA on Sunday. We expected some problems with the youngest since he's never been away from both of us--but he only cried for 10 minutes when they first left, and now he doesn't want to talk to us. Talk about loyalty! :) I'm glad they're both happy.

Saw the doc yesterday, my surgery will go ahead on 2 Aug. I hope this guy gets it right!
BTW--never ever stay in the Days Inn in Silver Spring, Maryland. GHETTO! We actually blocked the door with our suitcases the two nights we were stuck there before getting into a better hotel. It was really really scary.

I'll post more later--need to go take advantage of the alone time with the dh!

And we're off

2005-07-15T10:23:00.000+01:00

Ok, guys, we're off. We should have internet access most of the time, so it won't be a 5 week dry spell. :) Wish us luck for a safe trip, a successful surgery and a good visit. I'll post this weekend if I'm still sane after a 15-hour trip with the One Who Won't Stop Talking and the One Who Won't Stop Stripping. (btw, that's the 3 yr old, not the dh!)

Cheers for now!

Welcome to the house of fun

2005-07-14T14:56:00.000+01:00

I HATE getting ready for a trip. Hate it. We leave tomorrow for 5 weeks (part holiday, part surgery) in the States, and packing is a bloody nightmare.

I've just spent an hour locating passports, with the requisite panic involved when they weren't where I thought they were. Did I think to look for them before the last minute? Nope. "I know just where they are". Five passports found in five different places. I'm so organized it's scary.

We've had to pay next month's rent along with this month's since we won't be able to access the bank while we're gone. So that's $5,000 out of savings, on top of the $6,000 for the tickets. I wonder if my parents will believe me now when I tell them I'm BROKE?

To make matters worse, my 10 year old hasn't stopped talking since last Tuesday. Bless her heart, love her to bits, but put a sock in it! I've offered her $20 to not talk on the flight--as if! If anyone has ideas on how to shut up a preteen without bringing social services down on my head, they'd be greatly appreciated!

And my 3 yr old has an identity crisis. He's either Peter Pan, a power ranger, or a puppy, depending on his mood. I'm sure it will be a lovely 10 hour flight --"Power Rangers, power up! Hyuh!" He's also been potty trained for a grand total of 3 days. We're bringing lots of extra clothes for him. Wish us luck that we don't flood the plane.

And to top it all off, my DH has lost his mind. He's befriended a spider (now his pet) and named it Boris. He's been "hunting" flies with the fly swatter for the past 2 days to feed to Boris. I wish I was kidding, folks. Also, he went and got a perfectly good haircut a couple days ago, then yesterday decided he didn't like it. So did he go back and ask the lady to fix it? Nope. He shaved his head. Yup, two days before we leave to visit my family he decides he'd look great as a convict.

I, of course, am completely sane. Yeah, right.

Thank god I'm on percocet.

Ecotourism for the cuckoos

2005-07-13T20:53:00.000+01:00

I adore travelling, always have. I'm always up for somewhere new and different to go. While trawling through travel sites, I found this place. Hands-down, it wins the prize for originality, if not sanity.

Green Magic Treehouses (yup, that's what it's called), is an ecolodge in the rainforests of Kerala, India. The "rooms" are treehouses, built 100ft up in giant banyan trees. There is no electricity, no phones, although there is solar-powered cold running water. There are no navigable roads, so you have to walk the last 4km to the base camp. No plastic products are allowed.

Huh?!? Doesn't really sound like a holiday to me, more like Indian boot camp. But it gets better. Here are some of the special "features" of the place:

---Room service: call like a cuckoo and tea will be hoisted to your treehouse on a tray

---Cleansing plant extracts provided: red sandalwood and turmeric for the face, waka bark for the body, rice charcoal for the teeth

---One treehouse has a water-operated lift--turn on the tap for ten minutes to fill a large counterweight-bag for a controlled descent--while a second is connected to the cliffside by a hanging bridge

Seriously. I can just see my husband leaning over the balcony going "Cuckoo, cuckoo--we want some tea!" Nice.

The cuisine is another interesting aspect. It's all vegetarian, which is fair enough. Vege food can be really good.

"Vegetables are grown in an organic garden on the hill, cooked with local spices and served with rice, lentils or roti-bread using a plantain leaf for a plate. Green banana with roasted coconut paste, a ratatouille of onions-tomatoes-ladies fingers in curry and mustard seeds..."

Sounds yummy. And then I saw the rest...

"The dishes are cooked over a gobar-powered fire (that's dung-gas to you and me-- from the lodge's 6 bullocks, naturally)."

No thanks. Not only do I not want my food cooked over shit, I especially don't want it cooked over shit when I'm living next door to the provider of the shit. Eeew.

In case you're still mulling it over, did I mention that there are leeches? Yup, big hungry leeches waiting to attack your ankles whenever you are mad enough to get your feet near ground level. All this for only $200 per night. Flights not included.

I think I'll just stay home and poke my eyeball with a pencil. Probably just as much fun, and a lot cheaper.

Priceless!

2005-07-13T16:49:00.000+01:00

Well worth viewing, only takes about a minute. I was rolling!

A bit morbid, but worth saying...

2005-07-12T13:05:00.000+01:00

Put an emergency contact number on your mobile phone, then if something happens to you, the emergency services can identify you. That's the idea of a new campaign started by the East Anglia Ambulance Service.

They want everyone to include a number labeled ICE (in case of emergency) number in their contacts list. So, if you were in an accident or were found unresponsive, the ambulance crew would know who to contact, and have an idea of who you are. Since the London tragedy and the problems identifying the victims, the idea has really taken off. Mobile phones will withstand a lot more trauma than an id card, and most people carry them anyway.

Personally, I think it's a great idea, and I'll be changing my phone shortly. If I was in a terrible accident/incident like that, I wouldn't want everyone to have to wonder and worry about me. And if they had to collect my pieces for analysis, at least they'd have a starting point.

Revelations

2005-07-11T23:40:00.000+01:00

Dear Mom,

I know it's been a really long time since I've come to visit, and I'm sorry for that. All of us will be descending on your house like a plague of (really cute) locusts this weekend, and you and I will probably not have much chance to talk alone. So, there are a few things I wanted to get off my chest before we arrive. I know I was not the easiest child to raise, and I was a bit of a hellion. I was always in trouble for something. But have you ever wondered what I did that you never found out about? No need to wonder anymore....

Remember when you went to Phil's mom's funeral? It took Tracey and I a grand total of five minutes to find the car keys. In the box on top of your dresser. I'd have warned you to try harder next time, but, umm, I really didn't want you to. :) Four of us ditched school and drove around all day the next day; down to Denver, visited some friends in Lakewood, went to the mall. None of us were old enough to have a driver's license, and only one had a clue how to drive. We put 350 miles on the car in one day. But all of us survived, including the car, and we even filled it up with gas. So I suppose all's well that ends well. :)

You know that weekend you had to work in Denver manning the phones for a charity telethon? We had a party at our house. A big one. With people with mohawks and beer and everything. I think someone had sex on our garage roof, but I'm not really sure. The poor Japanese exchange student staying with us was very, very confused. The neighbors enjoyed it though. Again, all's well that ends well.

A year or two later, a friend and I went to a Marine party in a hotel suite. Remember all those guys that helped us move? Their party. Except that someone there was apparently dealing drugs, and the party got raided. By big cops with big guns. It was not funny. Since we weren't even aware of the dealers, let alone using (the cops had been watching), they said they'd let us go if an adult came to get us. So, rather than calling you, I called Jen (who'd just turned 18) to come collect me from the cops. I figured it was safer that way. For obvious reasons, I never told you about that one either.

I'm sure there's more, but I don't want to give you a heart attack or anything. :) At least I turned out ok--a fine upstanding citizen and all that. Anyway, thanks for listening to my confession, and see you this weekend!

Love from your daughter,
Julie

XOXOXOXO

A must read

2005-07-10T12:18:00.000+01:00

I almost don't want to blog this cause I'm so sick of hearing about Tom Cruise--but this is hilarious! Go and check out Tom Cruise is Nuts. He's even crazier than I gave him credit for. A proper rat bastard.

This is my favorite quote--from the "Others on Tom" section:

"Note to Tom Cruise: You are maxing out. Wearing out the welcome. Becoming less the tolerable and moderately talented and mildly likable megastar and more like an itchy boil on the deranged ferret of popular culture, requiring lancing."- Mark Morford, SF Gate Columnist

I found that page through Operation Clambake, the "fight against the Church of Scientology on the net". Interesting read, includes some pretty scary info about L. Ron Hubbard. I have to admit I knew virtually nothing about CoS, other than it's a scary cult, and they had awful commercials back in the 80s. Hmm... I don't think I'll be joining any time soon, freaks!

The blind leading the 'blind'

2005-07-09T21:52:00.000+01:00

Here's a culinary nightmare for you. A restaurant in Paris, Dans les Noir, operates in complete darkness. That's right, no lights at all. They employ blind wait staff to help the diners find their way to their tables, to the bathrooms, and to cut food. I have to ask---why? Why would you pay $60 a person to not even see what you're eating?

It's an interesting concept, but that's about it. It could be an interesting "lesson" on how it might feel to be blind, but I can't imagine a restaurant could survive on the novelty alone for very long. Apparently people take their kids there, too. Oh no, not my kids! They can do plenty of damage in broad daylight---I'm not letting them loose in the dark with sharp implements.

Personally, I'd be too afraid there were nasties in my food to be able to eat anyway. I mean seriously, what if something had gone off and there were bugs crawling on your plate? Eeewww! No thanks, I'll stick with well-lit eateries and save the blind experience for another day.

Just out of curiosity--would you eat there?

It's a trip!

2005-07-09T10:40:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Rachel at Web Divas for my cool new look here. If you're looking for a new template, I highly recommend her; the chick is talented (and a mind reader as well, apparently!).

In honor of the new look, I've changed my title from Amkeli's World. Long story, but it was time for a new name.

Regular post later, gotta get some work done before I play any more.

Thank you

2005-07-08T14:19:00.000+01:00

Thank you for all your kind and caring comments. I am not a British citizen, but I have lived here for a long time, and I think of this country as my own. Yesterday's attacks were awful and horrible and lots of other things that I don't even have words for. It takes a special kind of bastard to attack others without thought, care or morality; and those people are our real enemies. May they all find that what goes around comes around, and get their just rewards.

5 things

2005-07-06T14:35:00.000+01:00

I was tagged for this one by Karen, hope you enjoy!

What was I doing 10 years ago: Working in labor & delivery at Naval Hosp. Camp Lejeune, pregnant with my daughter.
5 years ago: Living in Cornwall
1 year ago: Pretty much the same as now, but living in a barn

Click the *** to read more...
Yesterday: Slept 16 hours--wasn't feeling well

5 Snacks I enjoy: popcorn, popcorn and more popcorn--ooh and strawberries and angelfood cake

5 songs I know all the words to: everything by U2 and Sting

5 Things I would do with a $100 million: rejoice! Pay off bills, give money to family, go on super-holiday

5 Locations I would like to run away to: anywhere warm and sunny where I don't need to light a fire in July

5 Bad habits I have: none, I'm perfect! :)

5 Things I like doing: hanging out with my kids, reading, travelling, visiting historical sites, sitting in the garden on warm days

5 Things I would never wear: catsuit, socks with sandals, pigtails, crimson nail polish, daisy dukes (no need to scare people, I say)

5 TV shows I like: ER, Friends, Desperate Housewives, Eastenders,

5 Biggest joys of the moment: my two children, my DH, upcoming visit to my parents, upcoming surgery (hoping to God they get it right this time!)

5 Favourite toys: my children :), my laptop, my mobile, that's about it

5 next victims: Scott, and whoever else might like to do it. Last time I tagged people I got yelled at, so I won't do that again! :)

Words of wisdom

2005-07-04T21:36:00.000+01:00

Ok, I'm back. Here's the deal--the last week has been hell, and I just haven't had the heart or the strength to write anything. No major catastrophes, just the culmination of lots of little niggly bits that managed to all get worse at the same time. Anyway, I wanted to share some of the things I've learned in the last week:

1. A 7-hr roadtrip is NOT a good idea if you have major bladder problems and are almost out of painkillers.

2. It doesn't matter what the ambient temperature is, outdoor bodies of water in England are COLD. Period.

3. My children will stay in said outdoor bodies of water until they physically turn blue, and then call me mean when I make them get out.

4. My mother-in-law is certifiable. Insane. Completely separated from the real world. Yes, everyone bitches about their MILs, but seriously, this woman should be in a straitjacket.

5. A 10 yr old and a 5 yr old will play together much better than a 5 yr old and a 3 yr old.

6. You really do get stared at if you let your child wear a Power Rangers costume through service areas on British motorways.

7. But it doesn't matter because it really makes him happy.

8. Buying international plane tickets for a family of 4 in July and August is not cheap. To the tune of $6,000 not cheap.

9. You can spend a month in Thailand or two weeks in the south of France, flights and hotels included, for the price of a trip to Iowa.

10. But it doesn't matter because you've made your mom very happy.

11. Being on convalescent leave on and off for six months is NOT fun. Seems like it should be, getting to stay home and not having to work, but it really isn't.

12. Children sitting 2 feet apart in the back of a car on a road trip can be amused for a VERY LONG TIME by talking to each other on their parents' cell phones.

13. My cats don't like being left alone; and they show their displeasure by leaving headless birds in key locations through my house.

14. Celebrating the 4th of July in a foreign country can be many things; fun, interesting, eye-opening--but it is not the same.

15. 20 liters of gasoline (roughly 4 gallons) costs about $40 in Devon, and only gets the momma mobile just above the red zone. Filling it up costs 48 pounds, or almost $100. Gas coupons are a godsend, and we will never again allow ourselves to run out.

16. Sangria isn't very good when made with white zinfandel instead of red wine.

17. July evenings in Cornwall are perfect hot chocolate weather.

18. My 3 yr old is terrified of fireworks. He would prefer to spend the display time rolling down a steep 30-foot hill. That terrifies me.

19. My husband does not like it when said 3 yr old plays with mommy's sparkly make-up.

20. I can actually survive 3 whole days without any computer access whatsoever. Who knew??

That's all folks. Back to normal tomorrow!

Things to do when it's really really cold

2005-06-26T10:46:00.000+01:00

Today I found the most original blog I've seen in a long time. 75 Degrees South is the journal of a guy working/living at the British Antarctic Survey in, yup, Antartica. This post had me laughing, and wanting to visit; check it out at Fun at -50C.

Who's laughing now?!

2005-06-24T15:48:00.000+01:00

Glastonbury from the air

For years I wanted to go to the Glastonbury Festival. There are always great bands, it lasts for several days, and it just seems so much fun to go camping and hang out for the whole time. Lots of beer tents, crafts, even a kids' festival. It always looks so wonderful. Every year I got a bit disappointed that I didn't manage to get tickets on time. At 120 pounds each (about $240), you'd think they'd last longer--but no, they sell out in record time. But after a while, I started to change my mind about wanting to go.

The first couple years I lived here, I thought "what a shame, it's raining again for Glasto". After a while, I realized it was more than that--there was a pattern there. And I came to the obvious conclusion.

Glastonbury is cursed. Seriously. It is the only bit of truly predictable weather in the country. It's like clockwork--no one in their right mind plans a barbeque or outdoor party during the festival weekend. It will rain. Period.

"Is that Glastonbury weekend? Can't have the party then, it'll be raining"

And every year, without fail, it rains. Everywhere. This year, it's been in the high 80s for a week straight (beyond rare); until today. The start of Glastonbury. We woke up to cloudy skies and it's been raining all day.

But NOT as bad as at Glasto itself. They got hit with massive thunderstorms with torrential downpours. The festival goers have gotten a real treat this year. Not only do they get bands, and atmosphere, and a weekend long party--they get to go swimming too!

One of the tent fields after today's thunderstorms

Poor schmuck swimming for car keys

I really don't feel so bad about not going now. Nope, not at all.

My bologna...

2005-06-23T18:42:00.000+01:00

....has a first name, its O-S-C-A-R
My bologna has a second name,
It's M-A-Y-E-R
I love to eat it everyday and if you ask me why I'll say
Cause Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A

and of course the unforgettable:

Watch it wiggle, see it jiggle
Cool and fruity
Jello brand gelatin,
Of all desserts you'll love the one
That tastes so light and makes such fun
Make Jello brand gelatin and make some fun!

A sad 70s attempt at showing how far women had come (oh please!):

I can bring home the bacon
Fry it up in a pan
And never let you forget you're the man
Cause I'm a woman---Enjoli

This is what I've had stuck in my head AAALLLLL day. I haven't heard these jingles in probably (oh my god, I'm old!) 30 years--why do I still know the words??
You can't tell me that advertising doesn't work.
If you just have to have more, check here.

All in a day's work

2005-06-22T22:19:00.000+01:00

I've gone back to work this week (after convalescing from my 5th surgery since Dec), and damn, is it tough! I'm only working half-days for now, and still on pain meds, but can't seem to make it through even 4 hours without feeling like I'd just rather curl up and die. My doc gave me the choice to go back or to stay home on convalescent leave awaiting my next surgery at the end of July, and I chose to go back. I'm now thinking I made a bad decision; I'll give it the rest of the week to see how it goes, then we may have to chat again.

On the bright side, I was welcomed back with this news. One of my friends from work has just been selected as the first female Thunderbird in USAF history (no other branch has any female demo pilots, just for
the record).

I know there'll be the typical comments out there about filling quotas, and why are women flying jets anyway, and why make a big deal out of her being a woman? I know these comments are out there, cause I've seen them surfing the net.

To those people I have to say: FiFi is one of the most awesome people I've ever had the opportunity to work with. She is brilliant, seriously talented, and ranks high on the list of nicest people I've ever met. She is a shit-hot pilot, and she works her ass off. She deserves every bit of this. And yes, it's a big deal that she's a woman in the fighter world.

So congrats, FiFi---best of luck to you with the Thunderbirds, we'll miss you! Oh yeah--don't forget to kick some ass and don't forget the panthers you've left behind!

News flash, Tommy boy, so are you

2005-06-20T21:31:00.000+01:00

I don't like to complain about people, but this guy is really just driving me crazy. I honestly believe he's lost his mind, or he's got some really bad publicists who want to keep him in the spotlight for any reason possible.

Yup, it's Tom Cruise in the headlines again.

"He was talking to journalists in Leicester Square when he was squirted with water.
The star struggled to maintain his composure, repeatedly asking one of the Channel 4 team: "Why would you do that?"
"What's so funny about that? It's ridiculous. Do you like making less of people?
"Don't run away. That's incredibly rude.
"I'm here giving you an interview, answering your questions and you do something nasty. You're a jerk."
The actor held the interviewer back and repeatedly called him "a jerk"."

Ok, it wasn't the smartest thing the interviewer could have done and I don't condone it in any way (in fact, I think it was really dumb), but that doesn't excuse the reaction he received. Dude, lighten up, Tom. You're not God. It was only water, you didn't melt, and I'm sure Katie will still marry your sorry ass. You're no better than the rest of us, and I know I sure as hell wouldn't have reacted like that. Wipe it off, say "I didn't appreciate that", give the squirter a chance to apologize, then MOVE ON. Seriously. It's called being an adult.

The thing that really chaps my hide is that the guy (and 3 'accomplices' was arrested--yup, arrested. Assault. Do we really need to throw people in jail for using a squirt gun?

Rant over. Sorry.

48 feet and a stomach evacuation incident

2005-06-19T22:35:00.000+01:00

I can't belive we missed this.

Yesterday was the 9th World Stinging Nettle Eating Championship held at the Bottle Inn in Dorset, England.
The competitors eat the leaves from stinging nettles
provided by the pub, and the amount eaten is counted by the lengths of stems left over.

Apparently the favorite was disqualified when he had a "stomach evacuation incident" at around 42 feet (I'll have to remember that terminology next time I call in sick!--sounds very impressive). The winner ate 48 feet of stinging nettles in one hour. I wonder how he's feeling today?
I think I'm most upset that we weren't asked to supply the nettles from our garden. We have some over 6 ft tall...

There are tons of strange competitions and festivals in Britain--although most aren't as painful as eating nettles.
There's the ever-popular Cheese rolling in Gloucestershire, Bog Snorkelling in Wales, and the fancy-dress Walrus Dip on Boxing day (26 Dec). God, I love this place!

Today is summer!

2005-06-18T14:29:00.000+01:00

Yup, this is it! It's 84 degrees F out there, and SUNNY! The kiddlets are playing in the kiddie pool, DH mowing the lawn, and I've popped in for a cool drink.

This is such unusual weather that I will be outside until the sun goes down, about 10pm, and will love every minute of it! Tomorrow will probably not be nice.

We're excavating the mole hills in our garden to see if we can find any buried treasure. Hey, don't laugh, it could happen! We're in the heart of Iceni country, in the middle of the danelaw, and they've found roman ruins in the fields adjacent to ours.

Wish us luck---I'm off to get my tan and find my treasure now!

This is it...I've had it!!

2005-06-17T22:45:00.000+01:00

I've kicked him out. I've kicked my husband out of my bed. The damn fool snores---bad. (what were you thinking?). I've told him he can take his noctural performance of "Requiem to a Jackhammer" elsewhere.

To be fair, when we married I knew he snored. He snored like a normal human then. You know, we ALL snore occasionally. That's what he used to be like. If he rolled on his back, he would snore like a ...well, you know...really talented snorer. A straight-A snorer. If it was an Olympic sport, he could snore for England. It was cute, and kind of endearing. "Oh, what a cute little British snore--even snoring sounds better with an accent!" :)

Then it got better. And better and better and better. He took to snoring no matter what position I pushed his ass into in the middle of the night. On his side, his back, on the floor; it didn't matter. The only reprieve I had was pinching his nostrils together. He would sort of shudder, then gasp for breath through his mouth----and it would gain me a 10 to 15 minute stay of execution. And I learned to deal with it, and we moved on.

Then, over the last six months, his problem has quickly gotten worse. He now snores not only when he exhales, but also when he inhales. How does that work?!? Last night when I was getting ready for bed it hit me like a ton of bricks. This is unbearable! I could hear his snoring over my electric toothbrush. I was three doors down the hall, with 2 closed doors between us. I kid you not. And if I was reading this in someone else's blog--I would totally not believe it. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't personally experienced it.

So, I went to bed. And tossed and turned. And turned and tossed. And stared, pleadingly, at the alarm clock. 2 am. 3 am. 4 am. And everytime I drifted off, the jackhammer with asthma that I married woke me up. And there was not a damn thing I could do about it. Short of suffocating him with the pillow (which I did actually consider; after the birds started singing, and the sun came over the horizon. And I was STILL awake, and he was sleeping like a baby. Yes, I thought about it. But I didn't do it, which, alone, should earn me a spot in heaven).

And I fell asleep, like a refugee, on the couch downstairs; at 6 this morning. And my beloved kids woke me up at 7:30. So, tonight, my husband will sleep in a different room. For my sanity, and his well-being.

And that's it.

EDITED TO ADD: I had a GREAT night's sleep! DH stayed on the couch, and I slept like a baby! We're going to have to work out some arrangement here....

Topless squirrel jello wrestling

2005-06-16T20:33:00.001+01:00

No, not really. But I keep seeing other people's posts showing all the weird stuff they've been googled for, and I'm jealous. I never get googled for crap, apparently I need some good keywords. I figured the title of this post is a good start. And until I get better results--bite me, Google. I fart in your general direction.

Talk about stubborn...

2005-06-15T14:09:00.000+01:00

Pam Fedirchuck rode a mule from Alberta, Canada to Wyoming, just to go to the area's Mule Days. That's dedication for you! 850 miles on mule-back. Ouch. Pam and a friend (on horseback--wimp!) took 52 days to reach their destination, often stopping to do odd jobs for money. Apparently the mule is now 20 years old and ready for retirement.

My sister has a British friend who once travelled across the States by Greyhound bus (which every American knows you DON'T do!)---and swore next time he'd go by donkey. He said it would be cleaner, faster and cheaper, and wouldn't smell nearly as bad! I'd love to get these two together and hear the comparison!

On a side note: Hat's off to yet another stupid US immigration law. At the border the women were stopped and not allowed to cross. They were forced to find some kind soul willing to put the animals on a trailer to cross the border. WTF??? Don't get it...

feeling the meme love...

2005-06-15T09:31:00.000+01:00

Sheri got me! I'm supposed to name 5 things I miss from my childhood.

I'm going to have to cheese out on this one. My big sis, Jen, was also tagged, and I really like her answer so I'm stealing it. Please check it out here.

Kudos to the cool one

2005-06-13T13:49:00.000+01:00

I wanted to give a big thanks to my sister Jen for her guest post. Don't let her fool you--she's really the COOL one! Always has been. You know the kind of person who can say absolutely anything to anyone? That's her. In fact, I regularly enlist her talents to ask our parents for things. I ask, they laugh in my face---she asks, and it's in the mail! NO ONE can say no to her! She also has a great knack of meeting Jesus. Yes, Jesus. (or at least people who think they're Jesus, hmmm...) I'll let her post about that one...

And yes, we perfected the art of combat monopoly when we were younger! If you have siblings, and you weren't raised in the Cleaver house, I'm willing to bet you know what I'm talking about! But we're great friends now--sisters are awesome! This woman actually took a BUS trip from Colorado to Florida, then on to N. Carolina--in August--to come see me and my newborn daughter. That's love for ya!

It does make me curious though. Jen and I agree that we had a somewhat abnormal childhood. We used to do some crazy things to each other (some of which are completely inappropriate to post here)! Jen's favorite form of sister-torture was "the spit game"--in which I was held down while she drooled in my face. Ahhh, the good old days... I normally retaliated by scratching the living crap out of her arms (I think she still has some scars--I'm sorry Jen!). And I won't even mention how I crashed her car...

I wonder how much of our mutual torture was normal sibling behavior, and how much was just out there? I mean, we both grew up to be normal, well-adjusted adults, so I'm guessing it wasn't all that bad. If you have siblings, please comment and let me know what awul things you did to each other when you were little...

I've been tagged...

2005-06-13T13:22:00.000+01:00

I've been tagged by Lora with a book meme. Here goes...

Total books owned, ever: I have no idea. A lot. I'm a book junkie and almost always buy instead of borrow.

Last book(s) I bought: I bought a bunch of books at the end of last month. See here for details.

Last book I read: I just finished Letters of the Queens of England by A. Crawford. It was pretty good; letters from the wives of English monarchs, from the Norman conquest to Henry VIII. Each entry was accompanied by an historical overview of the period; I particularly liked this because I wasn't familiar with some of the Norman and Angevin queens.

Five books that mean a lot to me: Click on the *** to read more.

1. Anything by Alison Weir. She's awesome. She's an historian specializing in mid to late medieval England. She writes social history, rather than military or political, and has a writing style that keeps you engaged and interested. The human side of history shines through, and you find yourself actually caring about people who lived 500 or more years ago.

2. Anything by Bill Bryson. Again, he's awesome. He's an American who went on a backpacking trip to Europe as a young man, met a woman in England and stayed. I first found him when I read The Mother Tongue: English and How it Got That Way--a very ambitious, and hilarious, history of the english language. He's also written some great travel books: Notes from a Small Island, where he attempts to travel round Britain by public transport, stands out as the best in my mind.

3. The Poisonwood Bible, by Barbara Kingsolver. This is one novel that I can reread until the cows come home. It grips you and drags you in; you end up truly feeling for the girls. It's set in the Belgian Congo in the late 50s, about a evangelical Baptist preacher and his four young daughters and wife. They're sent to a mission in the Congo for a year, then get caught up in the political upheaval and due to some poor decisions by the father, can't escape. The father is the family's dictator and cannot cope with the changes the Congo forces in his life. What makes it interesting is how the author switches voice from daughter to daughter, and how she develops the girls' characters as they grow. Favorite opening line: "We came from Bethlehem, Georgia, bearing Betty Crocker cake mixes into the jungle."

4. The Outlander series, by Diana Gabaldon. A light, entertaining read--5 books so far, with another due out this year. The series starts just after WWII, then moves back in time to the Jacobite rising of 1745 in Scotland. The main characters end up emigrating to America through the series, and are now awaiting the beginning of the revolutionary war. An interesting mix of hist. fiction, great storytelling, and a bit of fantasy thrown in. It also has one the honor of the most sought after male lead--he has several fan clubs of his own. Warning--a hefty dose of suspension of disbelief required to enjoy these books. Excellent escapist reading.

Ok, I know it said 5 books, but I figured I'd rambled on enough! I'm not going to tag anyone, cause the last time I did I managed to make some people really mad! So, if you feel like doing this one, just comment and let me know and I'll come check it out!

Guest Blogger!

2005-06-12T17:09:00.000+01:00

Hey all, I'm Julie's sister, Jen, and I'm guest blogging for her today. She actually gave me her password, isn't that cool? Obviously we've come a long way from the days when, if we were playing a game and had to take a bathroom break, we'd make the other one come with us just to be sure no one was taking money from the bank or moving the pieces around...

I just wanted to give a little example to illustrate how Julie and I have related to each other our whole lives. When Julie was two, her favorite song was Band on the Run by Paul McCartney and Wings. In contrast, mine was Sundown by Gordon Lightfoot...by age three I had been eclipsed in coolness by my toddler sister and it's pretty much stayed that way since!

Anyway, here's my first attempt at guest blogging, and I know it's not as cool as what Julie would have written (since we've established that she's the cool one) but I do hope you've enjoyed it. Julie's feeling crummy today...can you drop her a comment wishing her well?

Shhh...the furniture is listening!

2005-06-10T14:50:00.000+01:00

(courtesy of the bbc)

The city of Cambridge has unveiled new benches and garbage bins in a square in the city centre.
They are solar powered and have their own personalities...

"Robotic bins that move and chuckle, benches that flock together and sing when the sun comes out, have been unleashed in Cambridge."
"They are what's called "generative" so that over time they develop more and more personality.
"You'll find that one bench may be particularly attracted to a particular bin. They will chuckle and giggle sometimes or make rude noises."

Hmm... I wonder what would happen if you tried to squeeze out a quiet one while sitting on one of the benches? Or what if they start making "rude noises" while you're sat there?
"Uh, dude, that was the bench"
"Yeah, sure, whatever!"

And really, I'm insecure enough without having a garbage can LAUGHING at me!

I guess I'll have to stay away from Cambridge...

Now I know I've been in England too long....

2005-06-07T18:44:00.000+01:00

Today was a GORGEOUS day out! Best weather we've had yet this year, really felt like summer at long last. The sun was out, not a cloud in the sky, and it was sooooo warm.

In fact, it was so nice we broke out the kids' pool and filled it, ready for them to jump in after school. We dusted off the lawn furniture and set it up outside, and decided on barbeque for dinner. I made ice pops. Perfect summer day; I had visions of the kids playing in the pool, running around the garden with their ice pops, while DH and I sat at the garden table sipping frozen margaritas out of frosty glasses.

Curious, I decided to see how hot it was...

In case you can't see it, it says 57 DEGREES! Not 80, not even 70, but 57 bloody COLD degrees! If this is a "great summer day" then I know I've lived here too long and it's time to go home. And it felt so warm! I'm keeping my fingers crossed for the rest of the summer--one day we'll have those margaritas...

GnHomeless?

2005-06-07T08:19:00.000+01:00

"Staff at Alton Towers are trying to find homes for 200 gnomes left behind by visitors. Bosses at the Staffordshire attraction offered free entry to anyone who arrived accompanied by a gnome throughout May... He said a gnome crèche had been set up for anyone in need of a bearded ornament for their garden."

Seriously, what did they think people would do? Take their gnome on the rollercoaster? Buy him some cotton candy? Or dump the crap and have a good day out? Mr. Alton Towers boss-guy, I don't you think thought that one through, mate!

Next thing you know someone will form the Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Gnomes, and Alton Towers will be charged for knowingly contributing to the abandonment of garden gnomes....I'll keep you posted.

Lightning bugs, root beer floats and bare feet

2005-06-06T09:43:00.000+01:00

A bit of a ramble, please bear with me...

Now that it's summer, I find myself thinking back to my childhood, and the long, lazy, hot summers I had then. Three months, an almost inconceivable number of days at the time, stretching out before me with nothing but adventures and explorations looming ahead.

When I was young we lived in a small town in the midwest. Most of my extended family lived nearby, so my sister and I spent a good deal of time at Grandma's with all the cousins. I have some very happy memories of those days. Playing outside until the sun went down, having to be forced to come indoors. Not wearing shoes from June through August, feeling the soft grass underfoot. We would run wild around the neighborhood, catching turtles, exploring on our bikes.

Many a night was spent "camping" in Grandma's RV parked next to her yard. We would get mason jars with holes punched in the lid and have contests to see who could catch the most lightning bugs (what midwestern child DIDN'T do that?). We played hide and seek in the neighbor's corn fields. Knee-high by the 4th of July seemed significantly taller to an 8 year old. We climbed trees, made forts in the yard's treeline, and created our own little world. On especially hot days, we would lay in the road and pop the tar bubbles gleaming on the paved surface. We planted gardens, and in one tragic accident, became surrogate mothers to a litter of baby bunnies. Sadly, they didn't live long, but it was an invaluable lesson--getting up through the night to feed the fragile little creatures with milk meted out by eye droppers. It was a magical time; a time of transistor radios, halter tops and imagination.

Those were the days when kids didn't have car seats. When we didn't have VCRs or computers or video games. When it was relatively safe to send your kids out to play in the morning and not see them all day except for meals. When we got spanked for doing something wrong. When the biggest treat imaginable was to go, hot and sticky after a long day playing outside, to the A&W root beer stand and get an ice cream float in a frosty mug. Heaven!

These are the things my children are missing out on. We live in England*** now (moved here when my oldest was 4, and my youngest was born here), and so the summers aren't nearly so hot or long. Rain and clouds are the most likely forecast no matter what time of year. Being overseas, we are no longer close to extended family--and a great shame that is! My kids barely know their cousins, for which I will always feel like a bad mother. And of course there are no great 4th of July celebrations to be had. No running around the neighborhood barefoot, sparklers and younger cousins in tow, checking out what fireworks the people down the road had. And we don't have lightning bugs.

But most of the things I miss about my own childhood have little to do with location, but with the way the world has changed. I don't feel safe letting my kids roam unsupervised. Whether there are more freaks out there than there used to be, or whether we just hear more about them now; I don't feel comfortable letting them too far out of my sight. And I certainly wouldn't feel safe letting them lie in the middle of the road! Kids today have too many attractions indoors, and it can be a chore getting them to go outside in the first place (although I assure I put my big momma foot down on that one!) . Car seats are obligatory; proof that some things have changed for the better. But for the most part, the world seems so much less full of promise than it did back then.

I wonder what childhood memories my kids will cherish? Will they remember he pure, simple pleasure of a sunny day, a big garden, and the joy of having freedom? Or will they remember the video games? I guess time will tell...

*** Don't get me wrong here--I ADORE England. And my kids are creating lots of memories that I never had the opportunity to: Bonfire Night, Boxing Day, castles galore, and of course, the Eurovision Song contest! :) I don't for a minute regret moving here, but I wish I could give them the best of both worlds...

Going commando

2005-06-05T23:08:00.000+01:00

From the News Review section of today's Sunday Times (London).

Fashion note of the week
Members of the armed forces have been ordered to wear underpants when they visit the tailors for a new uniform. More and more servicemen have been forgetting, says The Sun, and the tailors have had enough. “Tailors will take the names of any person not wearing underwear,” says a spokesman for the Ministry of Defence. A senior officer told the paper: “It’s always been macho not to wear underpants. Most have just forgotten when they go to the tailor.”

Oops! Cat's out of the bag, now you know why I married my RAF hubbie. :)

I got the monkey!

2005-06-04T22:44:00.000+01:00

Battle of the Blogs is bloody addictive! It's a good thing it's not real money or I'd be selling blood to buy ramen for the kidlets... This is taking too much time away from my real vices....must stop....

Enough!

2005-06-04T13:14:00.000+01:00

Does anyone know how to get cats to stop bringing presents in the house? Namely dead birds? You know, the kind with the intestines hanging out and usually minus a head? Our windows don't have screens, so the cats come and go as they please, and at least once a day we find some sort of dead animal in the hallway...

We can't close the windows cause we don't have air conditioning, and we can't afford to screen them all... And we want to keep the kitties--we don't mind them killing the mice and moles they find, just don't want them in the house.

YUCK! I'm sick of cleaning up animal guts! Suggestions, please??

---Heard in my house today---"Mom, did you know I can fart on cue?"

Being a Monty Python fan, I had to do this...

2005-06-04T09:58:00.000+01:00

I am Arthur, King of the Britons
Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeater of the Saxons, Sovereign of all England!

Take the quiz: "Which Holy Grail Character Are You?"

It's in writing, so it must be true!

2005-06-02T23:14:00.000+01:00

This is great!

Things I've learned...

2005-06-02T19:21:00.000+01:00

Apparently some poor schmuck searching for Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyll-llantysiliogogogoch, Wales, ended up at my site. Oops, sorry!

Anyway, I just finished reading "Wars of the Roses"--it was pretty good. I thought I'd share some amusing things I learned from this book...

1. Henry VIII's great-great-grandfather was completely mad. He was Charles VI of France, and lost his mind in 1392 when he ran "berserk with a lance and killed four people before being overcome by his attendants". He also belived he was made of glass, had almost-continual violent delusions, ate his food from the floor like a dog, and many times was unable to recognize his own wife and kids. Damn frogs!
His insanity was inherited by at least one decendent--Henry VI.
Wonder if this had anything to do with Henry VIII's habit of decapitating his wives?

2. Apparently if you are the brother of the king and commit treason, you get to decide how you're executed. George, Duke of Clarence, (Edward IV's brother) chose to be drowned in a vat of wine in 1478. I can think of worse ways to go!

3. Thank God for coolants! At Agincourt, only one English noble was killed in battle. They put his corpse in a "huge cauldron of water and boiled all night, so that the flesh dissolved and the bones could be transported back to England". All I have to say is YUCK!

4. If your son is the prince, happens to be the last of your line and has no military experience, for God's sake DO NOT let him lead an army into battle! Seems like it would go without saying, but I guess not.

And thus it ended (for a few years anyway!)

BTW--if you ever want to find out where someone famous is buried, try Find-a-Grave; it's pretty cool, although a bit morbid...

That's all for now, folks--have to go watch the ER season finale (aka "how the hell are they letting Carter leave??!)

More proud mama pics

2005-06-02T08:40:00.000+01:00

Amelia was so excited that I posted her last charcoal drawing that she made two more for me to post. Unfortunately, these two got rained on on the way home (we are in England, after all!), but they still look pretty neat. Click on the *** below if you'd like to take a look.

This cracks me up!

2005-05-31T20:48:00.000+01:00

Click here for the "OMFG WTF" song. Both song and graphic found at Bitchalicious. Check out her site if you get a chance; she makes me laugh.

I am a geek....

2005-05-31T19:09:00.000+01:00

...with an obsession!

We've recently discovered that near our house is a the distro site of an online bookstore. A history bookstore. Specializing in hard-to-find books. I am in trouble. Seriously, bookstores (and buying books) gives me the same rush as normal people would get from...whatever normal people get rushes from!
Anyway, we walked over to Heritage Books, and I left with six books (I put about 5 more back cause tomorrow is payday!):

Tudor Cousins
The Private Life of an Elizabethan Lady
Letters of the Queens of England
Bastard Prince: Henry VIII's Lost Son
Chronicles of the Tudor Queens
-and-
The Great Irish Potato Famine

Can you see what my obsession is? These add to my already large collection of English history books, and Irish stuff. Damn, I'll need a new bookshelf soon. The sad thing is, I've already been to the online store and saved another 4 books to my cart!

But I haven't mentioned the the best part of all yet. The owner is an archaeologist by trade, and runs digs in the summertime. He invited DH and I to help on a dig in August of a Roman site a couple miles down the road! Woo-hoo!

Told you I was a geek!

Weird things...

2005-05-29T23:37:00.000+01:00

Sheri made a comment about servants at my house (no we don't have any--I wish!). What we do have is a panel on our kitchen wall that used to be used to summon the servants. All the rooms listed have a button somewhere which, when pressed, rings in the kitchen and the corresponding thingie moves. I'm not sure why only a handful are rooms are listed, but there you have it. Our kids ringing the bells and driving us crazy!

Click on the *** below to see more weird things...

The strange things you find in a really old house...

This is our "ghost door" (little man has a thing for peeling paint, just ignore it. We do.) It used to lead into little man's room, and was blocked up; no idea why.

This is a bricked up window (inside view on a disused staircase). We have 4 bricked-in windows of various sizes all visible from the outside, but this is the only one I can locate from the inside. Probably bricked up in the 18th century to avoid the window tax (used to be a type of property tax based on the number of windows in the house).

Little man got to the paint again. But this time, when he peeled off layers upon layers upon layers of old wallpaper, something that looks like burlap sacking appeared. Why? I don't know... Just seems really bizarre.

It's these weird little idiosyncracies that give this old place its character. I want to open up the door again, and unblock some of the windows and the fireplaces. And I can't wait until the workmen come to repair one of the floorboards--people used to hide things under the floor around here....I'm really curious as to what we'll find! If only I owned the place and wasn't just renting!!

Duh!

2005-05-29T21:52:00.000+01:00

Ok, it's official--I'm dumb. I finally got our fireplace in the scullery looking the way I wanted, so I thought I'd take a picture. I wanted a nice picture, fire roaring, etc. We haven't had a fire in this fireplace yet cause it's not in a room we hang out in.

Here's the BEFORE picture (before the fire):

Click on the *** to see the AFTER picture...

Big fat OOPS! I never even thought of checking the stupid chimney to see if the flue was working (it wasn't), or if it was blocked (it was). So my 'lovely' picture turned into a raging fire hazard, filled the entire downstairs with smoke, and gave me a good scare (not to mention black snot!). Frankly, I was really lucky not to have started another chimney fire! Yes, I said another. Not the first fire-related act of stupidity, seems to be becoming a habit. One that I'd like to break; wish me luck!

Our house

2005-05-29T01:29:00.000+01:00

I wanted to play with flickr tonight, so I uploaded pics of the house and garden. Most of my family hasn't seen the house (since we live so far away), so I thought I'd be nice and share. :) The oldest part of the house is on the right--looking from the front--and is about 500 years old. We still have many of the original beams and features; I plan on showing those another time.

If you're not family, and you don't want to look at my house, then I promise I'll post something besides pics tomorrow. :)

Front of house, from garden

Another view

Click on the *** if you want to see more pics of house and garden

Part of front garden, and some of the old farm 'outbuildings'

the summerhouse--wired and complete with fireplace--at least
one of the kids wants this for a bedroom. :)

Part of hidden garden--kiddies love to hide in here,
and some of the other hidden spots. :)

my favorite tree--if you know what this is, please let me know?!

Proud mama

2005-05-27T18:49:00.000+01:00

Amelia brought home a charcoal drawing she made in art class--I was really impressed with her work. Not bad for a 10 yr old! Especially since her mama has never progressed past stick figures. :)

An Gorta Mor

2005-05-25T13:37:00.000+01:00

CLICK TO ENLARGE

I'm a history junkie. No, really. I've been obsessed with it for as long as I can remember. But the major addiction started when I was a young teenager, and became infatuated with Lady Jane Grey, aka Nine Days Queen. More about her another day...

Right around the same time, my fascination with Irish history began. Since then, I've read numerous books about it, written quite a few papers (thinking of posting one or two, let me know if you'd be interested), and made a few trips there. One subject has always fascinated me--the Irish Famine, or in Irish, An Gorta Mor.

On my last trip to Ireland, I managed to fulfill a lifelong dream--to visit Skibbereen and see the famine graves. I'm by no means an expert on the famine, just enjoy learning about this era. Brief description follows.

In the Famine of 1845-49, over 1.5 million Irish died of starvation and disease, and another million or so emigrated. Roughly two-thirds of the country was dependent on farming as their sole source of income--almost exclusively the potato. Poverty was prominent and widespread; nearly half of all rural populations lived in one-room, windowless mud cabins.

Half the potato crop failed in 1845 (due to the fungus Phytophthora Infestans), and the potatoes literally rotted as they were pulled from the ground. In 1846 the entire crop failed. The majority of the people, already existing in extreme poverty, were left with no food to eat; accounts of the rural populations existing on boiled nettles and grass were commonplace. The famine continued until 1849 or 1851, depending on which source you read.

What made the famine even more horrible is that it was unnecessary. Enough food was still being produced in Ireland to have fed the population, but it was shipped out of the country to England. I won't go into that debate now though...it can be very controversial, and that's not my point today...

Skibbereen was one of the hardest hit by the famine. In Abbeystrowy cemetary just outside the town, there is an empty field the size of a football pitch. The field is the mass grave of over 9,000 famine dead, many of whom were children.

My child in front of the mass graves

So why this post today? I woke up this morning with the following song stuck in my head (no idea why, maybe a dream I don't remember?), and just couldn't get past it. This song always makes me want to cry, and I thought I'd share it...

Oh, Father dear, I oft times hear you talk of Erin's Isle,
Her lofty scene, her valleys green, her mountains rude and wild
They say it is a pretty place wherein a prince might dwell,
Oh, why did you abandon it, the reason to me tell?

Oh, son I loved my native land with energy and pride
'Til a blight came over on my crops, my sheep and cattle died,
The rent and taxes were so high, I could not them redeem,
And that's the cruel reason why I left old Skibbereen.

Oh, It's well I do remember that bleak December day,
The landlord and the sheriff came to drive us all away
They set my roof on fire with their demon yellow spleen
And that's another reason why I left old Skibbereen.

Your mother too, God rest her soul, fell on the snowy ground,
She fainted in her anguish seeing the desolation round.
She never rose but passed away from life to mortal dream,
She found a quiet grave, my boy, in dear old Skibbereen.

And you were only two years old and feeble was your frame,
I could not leave you with your friends, you bore your father's name,
I wrapped you in my cóta mór in the dead of night unseen
I heaved a sigh and said goodbye to dear old Skibbereen

I'm impressed

2005-05-25T01:30:00.000+01:00

Now, I've heard of stove fires. I may even have accidentally started one or two in my life. But I have to say, I'm pretty damn proud of my DH for this one.

It was his turn for dinner tonight. Our kitchen is divided into two rooms; one with the stove, Aga, table, etc, and another with the cabinets, sink, dishwasher. He was in the "sink" room doing something else while dinner was cooking in the "kitchen". I was in the living room when I heard this...

"Daddy, is that really on fire?"

"Umm, no honey, nothing's on fire" *distracted*

"No, really, Dad. I think you should look."

"Mommy LOOK!" shouts the 3 yr old.

That did it for me. I turned around, and from my seat I saw FLAMES reflecting off the kitchen door!

Into the kitchen I ran---to find...

the OVEN on fire!

Flames leaping out, smoke billowing, the whole nine yards.

How the HELL do you do THAT??
Click on *** to read more

Turns out he was cooking pork--and he decided to make "scratchings" from the pork fat. Put it in the oven, top shelf, turn on broiler. Apparently the oil splattered up and caught the broiler coils on fire. Who knew?

Good thing I love him.

Almost reassuring...

2005-05-24T11:22:00.000+01:00

...until you read the rest! Cold and purple and icky, huh? I just wonder what sort of answers you have to give to be "eaten"??

You scored as Natural Causes. Your death will be by natural causes, though not by any diseaese, because that is another option on this test. You will probably just silently pass away in the night from old age, and people you love won't realize until the next morning, when you are all purple and cold and icky.
Compliments of How Will You Die??

Click on the *** to see more.

Natural Causes

80%

Suicide

67%

Gunshot

60%

Cut Throat

53%

Bomb

47%

Posion

33%

Disease

33%

Disappear

27%

Suffocated

27%

Accident

13%

Drowning

13%

Stabbed

Eaten

How Will You Die??
created with QuizFarm.com

I'm not ready...

2005-05-23T21:57:00.000+01:00

My daughter is starting Middle School next year, and we just got back from the school orientation. I remember jr high being a big new adventure, and I had lots of fun there; so I was happy, and even a little excited, for Amelia. I thought I was cool with being the Mom of a Middle Schooler.

But then we got there. I looked around, and it was definitely a different crowd than I'm used to at the elementary school. One boy had a mohawk, several of the girls were wearing make-up, and quite a few kids were on their own, without their parents.

None of these things are bad, nor are they abnormal in any way. But they bothered me, deeply. And I realized I was scared. We're talking about my LITTLE GIRL. Next year, these will be her peers. These will be the people she looks up to and wants to be like. And they're not little kids. They're almost-teens. And that's what my daughter is now, not my 'little' girl anymore.

This seems like the first step down a long, scary road. Soon she'll be wanting to wear makeup, and get her license, and somewhere in there she'll want to start dating. On the weekends, she'll want to go 'hang out' with her friends instead of being with her family. All of it scares me. Soon she'll be going out into the big wide world all on her own, and I won't be able to protect her. And alongside the fear is a horrible sense of loss, the thought that now my little girl only exists in my memory and in photo albums.

I know it sounds a bit silly, and I know I'm following the 'slippery slope' fallacy here, but as we sat there listening to the speakers I felt my eyes welling up. My daughter's growing up, and the time is passing too quickly. Soon she'll be a young adult, with tough choices to make, and her own life to lead--that doesn't involve me on a daily basis. And it's hard to take. I'll get over it, but along the way I hope I am the best mom I can be.

Amelia's reaction to the orientation? "School starts two weeks after my birthday, Mom. So cool! I'll have lots of cool clothes--can you buy me clothes for my birthday?!? We can have a shopping party!"

WTF?!?!

2005-05-23T13:49:00.000+01:00

Ok, so I was blog-surfing and found this site

Rent a German

No, seriously. This cracks me up. You can rent a German for a weekend, a holiday, business help, etc. In fact, there are lots of Germans you can rent...

You can get the fat lazy dude to sit on your couch and scare your small children...

Or help the fugitive find a hiding place from the long arm of German law...

Or maybe Helen Keller is more your style...

Rest assured, every German comes fully supported by Rent a German...

"Free support package for emergency cases.

It could happen, that your German gets homesick, aggressiv, tired, sad or does not work correct.

In this case, we recommend to open the support package (your German has it in his bag) and give it to him fast...."

I think I'll have to give this one a miss....

It's a 3 thing!

2005-05-22T20:33:00.000+01:00

It's a Three meme--I was tagged by Jen. If you're tagged you MUST fill out the meme on your blog (that's what I was told anyway!).

3 names I go by: Julie, Jules, Bon-zai (at work)

3 screen-names I've had: claddagh lass, cornish girl, bon-zai

3 physical things I like about myself: my height, eyes, legs

3 physical things I dislike about myself: my skin in general (large surface area--counts as 3!)

3 parts of my heritage: German, English, Danish

3 things I am wearing right now: hoodie, shorts, pink fuzzy slippers :)

3 favorite bands/musical artists: U2, Sting, Coldplay

3 favorite songs: All this time, Book of my life, Petit poulet

3 things I want in a relationship: sense of humor, sense of responsibility, dedication to family (stole from Jen, but works for me anyway)

3 physical things about people of the opposite sex that appeal to me: tall, dark, handsome, arms (I know it's 4, I can count)

3 of my favorite hobbies: travelling, history, reading

3 things I want to do really badly right now: go potty, finish my book, check on the kiddies

3 things that scare me: my kids being hurt and not being able to help them, a house fire, being unfixable

3 of my everyday essentials: coffee, computer, book

3 careers you have considered or are considering: epidemiology, nurse-midwife, public affairs

3 places you want to go on vacation: Sri Lanka, Tahiti, Borneo

3 kids' names you like: Amelia, Liam, Miranda

3 things you want to do before you die: dance at my grandchildren's weddings, publish a book, go on a round-the-world trip.

3 ways I am stereotypically a boy: I enjoy working in a male-dominated career field, I like being in charge, I enjoy physical challenges like obstacle courses, etc.

3 ways I am stereotypically a chick: I like to decorate, shop and dress up

3 celeb crushes: Sting, Bono, and umm, I guess Dennis Quaid

Wheeewww, done! Ok, now Lora, Laura, and Barry go and have a stab at it (sorry!).

Saturday's Shampoo

2005-05-21T11:19:00.000+01:00

Thanks to Saturday's Shampoo....

Lather:
Tell about one time you laughed so hard you couldn't breathe. Who were you with? What were you laughing about?

When my DH and I were in Mauritius for our wedding/honeymoon, we had a few uncontrollable laughter fits. One night, walking home from dinner (and ahem, a few drinks), we came across the resort's pet turtles.
They were so cute, I had to play with them, then I turned around and saw Scott playing rodeo...

I laughed soooo hard I fell over! Everytime we walked past them for the rest of the trip (which we had to do several times a day--they were on the way from our bungalow to everything else) we laughed so hard we nearly peed.

Rinse:
What's the last book you couldn't put down? Why?

The Wideacre trilogy by Phillipa Gregory. They're period novels, set in 18th century England, and the main character is one you can't help hating and liking at the same time. Not for the weak-hearted, lots of icky things happen, and it's kind of a trashy series. But...I love the way she writes, and I couldn't put them down.

Repeat:
What website, blog, online game, etc have you spent the most time on this week? Share the URL with the rest of us!

I haven't been around all that much this week, still getting into the swing of things, really. Mostly catching up on bills online and shopping at Old Navy and Amazon. We only buy
on the economy here when we have to, cause it's so expensive. I've also been reading through the archives of Supermom's blog. She's pretty funny and has a very sarcastic outlook on life (like me).